


Boys will be boys.

by RussianSunflower3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dolphins, Gen, Lizards, Please look for cats responsibly, Sibling Interaction, Sibling aftermath, Team meals, Third year sleepover!, Training Camp, We don't give Tanaka motorbikes either, We don't give Tanaka tools., puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-11 01:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5609254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianSunflower3/pseuds/RussianSunflower3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, they were only aged 15 to 17.<br/>There's bound to be some stupidity at least every now and then.</p>
<p>This is the story of those moments, when immaturity won over.</p>
<p>#1: 2AM trumpets<br/>#2: Nepetalactone<br/>#3: Lost in translation<br/>#4: Senpai Sensation<br/>#5: You did that on porpoise<br/>#6: Spatium Vaccas<br/>#7:Yahaba knows everything and it's terrifying<br/>#8: Dinosaurs are real, but tiny, okay?<br/>#9: Sisterly love just means murder<br/>#10: Soap Opera<br/>#11 : The pun of it all</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2AM Trumpets.

Training camp, from the very first day, had proved to be a huge success. Not only had the Karasuno team bonded as a unit, but they had made friends with members from other teams as well. It was their third day, and whilst they should have all been asleep in their shared room, every now and then, someone broke the silence.

When the time displayed on his phone had reached 1am, Sugawara had kindly suggested that they all settled down for a good night’s rest before the next day. Daichi had agreed, turning out the lights and ordering everyone into their own futons. The shuffling of everyone moving into their beds stopped after a few minutes, and with a soft smile on his face at the surprising compliance of the team, Daichi headed to his own futon. 

“Good night.” He received a unanimous ‘night’ in return. The room was completely silent, surrounded with nothing but darkness and the comforting heat that came from having other bodies close by. A few quiet snores broke out not too far from him and he rolled his eyes, knowing how fast Asahi fell asleep. He was pretty sure he could hear slow breathing from over in Kageyama and Hinata’s corner, a welcome relief from when they had earlier been arguing over whether the colour of Dango affected the taste. Google had solved that problem, and it seemed that the bantering had worn both of the first-years out.

The wondrous sound of everyone being _quiet_ was music to Daichi’s ears, despite knowing that most of them were still awake. He could see the light from Suga’s phone at this angle, the setter watching a video of some kind. Noya and Tanaka were passing notes, occasionally muffling their faces in their futons to control their breathing before they started laughing. Someone from the other side of the room had not yet picked up this technique. He could hear the hiss of a giggle being held back, restrained through clenched teeth and a hand covering their mouth. After a few seconds, there was a short, sharp snort followed by snickering. It was answered by a murmur in the dark.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki~.” Daichi rolled his eyes, hoping that those hushed whispers were the last thing he would hear until morning. Tiredness tugged at his mind, and his eyes burned with the dry effort of keeping them open. A good half hour must have passed from lights out. Slowly, he started to melt into sleep, feeling the tension leave his muscles as he sank down into the futon, his consciousness starting to fade. It was instantly snapped back when one of the voices from before, shaking with mischievous intent and _imminent doom_ whispered out into the darkness.

“Tsukki, Tsukki~.” There was a soft grunt from the blond, obviously just as tired as Daichi was.

“Shh. What?” A snicker. A giggle. A snort.

...

 _ **An almighty trumpeting fart.**_

“Oh my _god_ , Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima didn’t care for the quiet anymore, shouting as he threw himself out his futon, practically flinging the cover halfway across the room as he jumped to his feet and backed away. The freckled boy burst out into cackles; just as evil as that absolutely **atrocious** smell that drifted throughout the room and reached the Captain. It hadn’t reached Tanaka and Noya yet, who laughed along, but Daichi could feel his eyes watering as he sat up with a cough, near gagging.

Suga had cleverly covered the bottom half of his face with his t-shirt, but Daichi knew he was grinning at the others misfortune underneath it. They had undoubtedly woken anyone who was asleep, Asahi bolting up in his futon as he caught a whiff, and promptly scrambling to open a window. Ennoshita followed his lead, whilst Tsukishima tasked himself with picking up a pillow and relentlessly whacking Yamaguchi with it. He was joined in by Kageyama, who’s dream of pork buns had been shattered by rotten eggs and outdated meat. Maybe a hint of onion. He’d awoken in full rage mode, and it was probably a good thing the lights were out so that none of them could see that frightening picture. 

Their pinch server continued to cackle and laugh, somehow not affected by his own pungent scent or the beating. It was the laughing from Noya and Tanaka that had roused Hinata from sleep and he physically shuddered, making a disgusted noise before retreating to the corner of the room furthest away from Yamaguchi’s well-planted toot. 

Marching over to the lights, Daichi flicked the switch and absolutely _glared_ at the 15 year old menace. In the state of merriment Yamaguchi was in, even the fiercest look from the captain didn’t do much. Whilst Narita and Kinoshita, t-shirt collars up above their noses, held back Tsukishima and Kageyama, Yamaguchi took the chance to sit up cross-legged and inhale all the oxygen he had lost from his bizarre amusement at the situation, wiping away tears of laughter. 

“Sorry, Daichi-Senpai~.” He wasn’t sorry at all. Not in the slightest. It showed in his cheeky grin, in the pride that flushed his cheeks, making those freckles stand out even more. Daichi’s tired mind drew upon the concept that the boy gained a freckle for each time he did something like _this._

“You. Are an evil little shit. What do you have to say for yourself?” Yamaguchi stuck the tip of his tongue out through his teeth in a mischievous smile, as if pausing to think of something whilst he ‘innocently’ scratched his chin. Daichi’s stomach churned with premonition of disaster.

“Well...” Yamaguchi leaned to one side, lifting a leg so that his knee brushed his chin. Tsukishima’s eyes widened and he paled, looking more terrified than the team had ever seen him before.

 _“Don’t you fucking dare.”_ Yamaguchi somehow grinned and smirked at the same time as he looked over his shoulder at Tsukishima. Daichi wasn’t sure how **it** was louder this time. He wasn’t sure how **it** was much more elongated. He was definitely sure that the room wouldn’t be suitable for sleeping in for the next ten to twenty minutes. Hinata beat him to it, charging out the door as a ginger blur, leaving it wide open as he fled for his life, screeching at the top of his lungs.

“ _ **Evacuate!!!**_ ” The team filtered out as quickly as possible, possibly rivaling Noya’s speed when he went to save a ball. Daichi was out second to last, and debated being mean, closing the door behind him so that Yamaguchi was trapped in the room by himself to deal with the consequences of his actions. In the end, it wasn’t him that made the decision. 

As soon as the pinch server came out the doorway, a skip in his step, Tsukishima seized him by the back of the collar and threw him back into the room with an intimidating glare. Sugawara grabbed the door handle with an ominous smile, slamming it shut with unprecedented force. Daichi let them be. Several minutes of silence elapsed in the corridor before Kageyama’s voice chimed in, dripping with exhaustion.

“Is it safe to go back in now...?” Taking a deep breath, Daichi opened the door as quietly as possible, scanning the room. The lights were still on, and Yamaguchi was curled up in his own futon, dribbling over the pillow Tsukishima had whacked him with. Bravely, Daichi sniffed the air. Opening the windows seemed to have done the trick perfectly.

“Should be. Quietly as you can.” He stood aside to hold the door open as the team filtered back in silently, tip-toeing to their respective futons. Tsukishima grabbed his futon and dragged it over next to the second-years, despite being cramped against the wall. Daichi sighed as he once more switched off the lights, slipping into his futon with a slow exhale of relief. Before he fell asleep, he checked his phone with a churning in his belly. If they didn’t do well at training tomorrow, Coach was going to kill them for staying awake until 2am. 

_‘Yamaguchi Tadashi, prepare for the harshest punishment I can think of. Tomorrow.’_


	2. Nepetalactone

As part of a routine, once their respective schools finished at lunchtime on Saturday, Hinata and Kenma would meet. Last time, they had met in Tokyo, so for today, Kenma was coming to Miyagi. A very excited Hinata was literally bouncing on his feet as he cleaned the whiteboard at the front of class, not even rising to answer Kageyama’s barbs from where the setter swept the floor. Today, Hinata had something planned. He’d found the _perfect_ gift for Kenma today, not for any special occasion, but just because Kenma was a close friend and he really _really_ wanted to see Kenma’s face when he realised what it was. 

“Kageyama, I’m heading out~! Don’t miss a spot like last time!”

“Oi! You can’t leave first, dumbass!” Laughing brightly at the rage directed towards him, Hinata legged it from the room and dashed through the corridors with unparalleled speed. He practically leapt onto his bicycle, undoing the chain that held it to the bike stand, slinging it into his school bag, and cycling off at full speed. His grin was irremovable, even as he pedalled against the grain of the steepest hill on the way home, muscles burning because he didn’t stretch beforehand. He was eager to make it home, get changed, and then cycle all the way back to Miyagi train station to meet Kenma on arrival. 

Puffing and panting, he stumbled into the house, mumbling his arrival and took a deep breath before hurtling up the stairs, functioning on pure excitement and adrenaline. He started to regret it the instance he slowed down to get changed, feeling his muscles burn in protest at any movement, and his lungs contracting painfully. Breathing properly would have been a good idea when he was cycling, but his exhilaration had clouded his judgement. Dressed in a cream-yellow hoodie and black jeans, he took a moment to lie face down on his floor and regret his rushed journey home. 

Little footsteps came pounding up the stairs, the sound travelling through his nice, cool floorboards. The door swung open and Natsu smiled at her big brother with playfulness in her sparkling eyes, and a glittering atmosphere surrounding her. Instantly, Hinata hopped up into a crouch and opened his arms. Natsu flew into them and squealed as Hinata spun around on one foot, hugging her tightly. Placing his little sister on the floor, he ruffled her hair as she giggled.

“Whatcha doing in here, you silly goose~?” She clapped her hands twice.

“Play jump rope, nii-chan, play~!” His smile dropped slightly, twinged with sadness as he brushed her fringe out of her eyes.

“Sorry, sis. I’m meeting a friend today, remember? It’s Saturday.” Her face morphed into a grumpy pout, looking as angry as an elementary school student could. Her big brother couldn’t help but find it adorable, reaching out to pinch her cheeks like his mother had when he was small.

“Don’t be grumpy, Natsu-chaaaaaan~. I’ll play with you all day tomorrow, okay?” She brightened up, looking up at Hinata expectantly. 

“Jump rope?”

“Yeah, alright~. We’ll play jump rope and volleyball until sunset!” She cheered, copying his action of punching the air in excitement. Without another word, she sprinted off downstairs to update her mother on Hinata’s promise. Hinata put his hands on his hips and smiled as bright as sunshine, marking this up as his latest victory in being a good big brother and best possible role model. His state of self-praise was broken by his phone buzzing. He scrambled to answer it, almost throwing it across the room in clumsiness. 

“Hogya!” He caught it, quickly opening the message that had come through from Kenma. Hinata’s bright and bubbly exterior paled and changed into a panic. Kenma had just left his school. Kenma was already on his way to the train station. Frantically, Hinata checked the time and realized that if he left now, he would _just_ make it before Kenma’s train arrived at Miyagi platform. 

He drew in a deep breath and screeched as he gathered up a few items to stuff in a red rucksack, including a neatly wrapped present, and ran down the stairs, still squawking. He only stopped when he reached the front door and took a calming breath. His mother gave a soft smile from the kitchen, tilting her head to the side.

“Did that help, Shouyo?”

“Yep! I’m ready to go now! Bye, mum~!” He tightened his laces once more and jumped out the front door with an enthusiastic holler and sped off on his bicycle. Thank goodness, the way to Miyagi was mainly downhill. He was already warmed up from his cycle home, so his legs were screaming much less at the movement. The ride was swift, faster than Hinata had pushed himself before. 

By the time he got to the station, not only was he sweating, but his usually messy hair was windswept into a disaster zone, and he had a bug splattered on his forehead. Wiping it off with a strange noise, he headed into one of the station shops to purchase a bottle of water, then sat down right in the view of people getting off the train. This way, Kenma was sure to spot him! As the trained rolled into the station, he rummaged through his bag and pulled out the wrapped gifts, bouncing up and down as he searched for the Nekoma setter through the crowds. 

It wasn’t long until he spotted the half-blond, half-black hair, and he started jumping up as high as he could, waving his arms about excitedly as he called out to his friend. Kenma walked his way and blushed lightly at the attention they were receiving from passerby’s. Sometimes, he debated why he hung out with Hinata, when he only led to embarrassment on his part. Shouyo was too dense to get embarrassed. Either that or he was just extremely courageous and didn’t care what others thought. 

Kenma was distracted from anxiously glancing around by something being sprinkled over his head. A few tiny bits of green floated down in his vision and he sneezed at the minty smell. He was sure that at the moment, his hair and shoulders were absolutely covered in this... Stuff. Hinata was grinning proudly, the literal embodiment of sunshine.

“... Shouyo, what did you just put over me?”

“Nepeta Cataria~.” Kenma felt his eye twitch. Hinata was definitely dense. Denser than any human being he’d ever met before. He’d even go as far to say Hinata was dumb. Light irritation flickered in those slim, golden eyes.

“Just because Nekoma is referred to as The Cats, you do _not_ have permission to shower me in _**catnip**_.”


	3. Lost in translation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short filler chapter to break down the walls of writers block.  
> Enjoy exasperated team parents.

It was a surprise to see Kenma talking so enthusiastically to someone. It was a surprise to see Tsukishima talking enthusiastically to someone. 

The biggest surprise was that they were making vivid conversation _with each other_. Karasuno and Nekoma pretended not to notice their two supposedly quietest members chatting away, but it was likely a situation like this would never happen again. Attempting to eavesdrop, however, proved rather useless. Currently, Daichi, Sugawara, Kuroo, and Yaku were standing in a row of four at the side, staring at the duo with plain concern.

“Promise you’ll do right by me, so I can do right by someone else. And please don’t make the super-suit green. Or animated!”

“One thing that never survives this place, is a sense of humour.”

“Ah, we’ll see about that, Posh Spice.”

“Oh come on, you’re going to leave me alone with less angry Rosy O’Donnell?” 

“Wait! You may be wondering ‘why the red suit?’. Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed.”

“This guy’s got the right idea. He wore the _brown_ pants. Cue the music.”

“Reeks like old lady pants in here.”

“Oh, god. You are hard to look at. You look like the topographical map of Utah.” 

“Ohh, I am very turned on right now.”

“You are _haunting_.”

“You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado.” Sugawara slapped a hand over his mouth as he gasped in shock, whilst Yaku shook his head disapprovingly and both captains watched with wide eyes. The conversation ended as abruptly as it had started, Tsukishima heading over to the Karasuno bench for his water bottle, and Kenma strolling over in the opposite direction to fetch his DS. Kuroo darted his gaze between the two, shell-shocked.

“What- What just happened?” From out of nowhere, as if to answer Kuroo’s question, a very familiar sentence drew their attention from the Karasuno side of the court. Their heads snapped round quick enough for whiplash, but that didn’t stop the four jogging over to where Tanaka was showing Kageyama and Hinata a video on his phone. The quartet crowded around them, eyes wide as the screen played out a kick-ass trailer, with the _exact_ dialogue that had been shared between Tsukishima and Kenma. Yaku straightened up, slapping at his forehead.

“It’s a movie trailer. Of course it’s a movie trailer. With Kenma, it just couldn’t be anything else. A fucking movie trailer.” He walked off to rejoin the rest of his team on the practice court, leaving Kuroo to roughly pat Daichi’s back.

“Looks like your precious Tsukki is a secret Deadpool fan, huh~?” All Daichi and Sugawara could do was stare at each other dumbly, wondering how on _earth_ they were going to get back those precious wasted minutes of their lives.


	4. Senpai Sensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, spying on the upperclassmen heralded some... Unexpected results.

Karasuno were hard at work training, the heat of the summer bearing down on them as they partook in the training camp. Somehow, instead of splitting up into skill level, or assigned player position, the many teams taking part had separated into age divisions. Each gymnasium was occupied with these separate groups, even though the teams within them tended to stick together. 

Tanaka and Noya were bored, to say the least. Every other second year at this camp seemed to either be intensively _boring_ or pretend that Karasuno didn’t exist! Off course, the other second years of Karasuno were perfectly happy with this, integrating into a circle with second years from Nekoma and Fukurodani. However, this did have one advantage. Tanaka and Noya were unsupervised. 

They didn’t even share words, just a devilish grin before they snuck out of gymnasium B and headed to gym C where the first years were supposedly getting to know each other. As they poked their heads in the door, they could see Hinata darting between circles of 15 year olds as he made conversations with each one, sometimes being called over to another. Kageyama was off in the corner right at the back, pouting in loneliness. He didn’t want to be there. Tsukishima seemed content to linger behind Yamaguchi and Yachi, who were in a small group of five. The blond boy had his headphones on, not doing a very good job of getting to know his opponents, but at least he was _somewhat_ engaging in the activity. It was Nekoma’s setter that noticed Tanaka and Noya peering in first, calling Hinata over and sending him in their direction.

“Tanaka-Senpai, Noya-Senpai! Are you here to join us~?!” They both laughed, Noya affectionately ruffling Hinata’s ginger scruff.

“No way, we’re just here to pick up our little trouble makers then head off to gymnasium A!” Hinata’s eyes widened, sparkling with curiosity.

“You mean... We’ll get to see what the third years are doing...!?”

“Yup~!” Tanaka proudly puffed out his chest at the proclamation, whilst Noya turned Hinata around and lightly pushed him back into gym C. 

“Go and get our other little crows!” Hinata skipped off to grab the other Karasuno first years, taking his ‘mission’ seriously. Kageyama didn’t take much convincing, already wanting to escape this place. Yachi bowed out to her companions, intrigued in what mischief was going to happen this time. Tsukishima blatantly ignored him whilst Yamaguchi tried to lecture him on rudely interrupting others, but as soon as the boy explained it, Tsukishima agreed to come along. He used the excuse of wanting to see everyone else get in trouble. At the same time, wherever Tsukishima went, Yamaguchi was close behind. He politely apologized for having to leave his new-found friends, then scampered after his teammates. 

He was in the process of telling them all off, when Noya turned around and held a finger up to signal it was time to ‘shh’. Gymnasium A loomed in front of them, and the second years tip-toed over to the door, peering through a small crack in the double doors. Instantly, they sucked in their lips as if they’d just eaten a raw lemon, their eyes lighting up with mirth as they held back their laughter. They waved the first years over simultaneously. 

Hinata darted over sneakily, pretending he was a ninja with Yachi at his side, whilst Kageyama moved silently, taking all his weight into his haunches. Tsukishima just walked over normally. He wasn’t stupid. He knew there was no reason to walk like that, because the third years would never hear them over the many voices inside. Using his height to his advantage, he leaned over the others and peered in through the crack. 

In an instance, Tsukishima Kei, with endless barbs and insults on the tip of his tongue, was rendered speechless. His reaction tempted Yamaguchi over, who was the first to break the silence with a tiny whisper.

“... Why are they wearing the managers skirts?” Yachi squeaked at the question, as if she’d needed the words to confirm what she was seeing. Her eyes flickered around the room, seeing most of the third years just casually talking. 

For some reason, however, Karasuno and Fukurodani were having a competition. A skirt wearing competition. Bokuto was having no trouble pulling off manly flaunting poses, despite the fact that the skirt was a little short. His kneepads remained where they were, the skin of his thighs only just flashing every now and then. The rest of the Fukurodani team were trying to push Akaashi forwards into the judging area, paying no attention to his quiet pleads to let him go and change. It seemed like he’d been forced into this. The same could be said for Asahi, who was frantically holding the skirt down at both front and back, with a massive blush on his face. Kiyoko patted his back encouragingly, trying to get him to join Suga and Daichi. Daichi had his arms folded across his chest and his legs firmly pressed together, trying to preserve as much dignity as possible. The red tips of his ears betrayed his true feelings. 

On the other hand, there was Suga.

“Is it just me, or does Suga have really great legs?” The whisper would have sounded weird coming from anyone except Tanaka, but they were used to his admiring talk by now. Sugawara _strutted_ around the empty space where they were being judged, attempting to walk like a model and waving with one hand regally. The other, he waited until he was close to Bokuto to push him back towards Akaashi in good jest. With a grin, Kuroo stepped into the middle of the ‘ring’, wearing his usual Nekoma tracksuit. 

“Ladies, you have one minute exactly to impress our judges! And... Begin!” He jumped backwards out of the ring, at the same time that the Fukurodani manager pressed play on a stereo player. Tsukishima leaned closer to Yamaguchi to whisper in his ear.

“That thing is older than my mother.” Yamaguchi seemed to expect it, because he lightly hit Tsukishima with the back of his hand.

“Tsukki, don’t talk about Kuroo-San that way.” Even though Tsukishima had been intending for Yamaguchi to draw attention their way, it was himself that made the loudest noise, snorting with a restrained chuckle. He instantly realized his mistake, paling as heads whipped round to the door. 

By this point, Yamaguchi had anticipated the reaction and snatched Yachi out of view. He grinned mischievously and waved as the third years opened the door, grabbed the peeping group, and dragged them inside. Yachi was shaking and stood frozen still. It was only when Yamaguchi pat her shoulder that she released the breath she’d been holding for ages. Considering the screams from inside, it was probably safe to talk.

“I thought we were going to get caught...”

“Mhm, but I knew Tsukki wouldn’t be able to hold back at that~.” They high-fived, edging closer to peek in through the doors again. Suga, Daichi, and Asahi stood off to the side, the latter looking relieved to be out of the burrowed skirt. In the center of the circle, the five Karasuno underclassman were all trying to hide behind each other, each one wearing one of Kiyoko’s spare skirts. Bokuto was hunched over pointing and laughing at them, despite the fact that he himself was still wearing his managers skirt. Akaashi looked sympathetic, but at least the attention had shifted away from him. With a light giggle, Yachi pulled her phone out and snapped a quick photo. Then, as quietly as they’d approached, the two ran off before they too could be caught, and placed in skirts.

(Bokuto never told anyone that he’d noticed a flash of Blondie and Freckles earlier, and promised to keep it a secret if he could be photographed too and sent the flattering images later.)


	5. You did that on porpoise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coach Ukai treats the kids to a day at the new aquarium. 
> 
> Only Tsukishima knows how much Yamaguchi loves dolphins.

Ukai watched the Saturday training session with a light smile, pleased at the improvements the team had made after returning from training camp. As a reward for all their hard training, the extra effort they had poured in, and the dramatic increase in their abilities, he had planned a surprise for them. Blowing the whistle for end of practice, he waited until the boys had arranged themselves into an orderly line in front of him, still sweating and breathing hard from their 6-6 practice match. 

“As you know, since the training camp, your regime and sessions have doubled. Well, so have your efforts. Which is exactly why today, you won’t be heading straight home after getting changed.” He noticed a few fallen faces, obviously dreading Ukai to suddenly announce a much stricter activity for them to do. He reached to the bench behind him, picked up a large envelope, and passed it to Daichi. 

Confused, the Captain peeled it open like it was rigged with a bomb. He stared dumbly at the contents until Suga reached over and took it from him, pulling out what was inside. His eyes lit up and a huge smile adorned his face.

“Tickets to the opening day of the aquarium!” The neatly lined-up boys descended into chaos, all gathering around Suga excitedly as he passed out the twelve tickets. The silver-haired setter babbled on animatedly about this place that he’d already been looking forward to visiting.

“They’ve imported species from all around the world for observation purposes, including sea creatures from underwater volcanic vents! They’ve got a special jellyfish tunnel that you can walk through, a chance to give seal-training a go, and a gift shop that rivals the Shibuya district! Best of all – There’s a swimming with dolphins exhibit! But tickets to the opening night are so expensive and there were only 100 available... Coach Ukai, how did you get _twelve?_ ” He shrugged, tapping the side of his nose knowingly.

“I have my ways, but that would be telling. There’s some spending money in there as well as train fare, so go on! The lot of you, scram!” It didn’t take much encouraging for them to eagerly disperse towards the changing rooms and showers, keen to freshen up and raring to go. Ukai glanced around the abandoned court with a sigh. He’d have to clean and lock up all by himself... He shook his head with a chuckle. He was going soft, and damn it, he didn’t regret it a single instance. He was still mopping when the team emerged from the changing rooms, bags slung over their shoulders and apparently racing out the door. 

Even the third years were participating, behaving like the teenagers - _kids_ \- they were. The Karasuno crows raced all the way to the train station, somehow losing Asahi and Kinoshita on the way. They caught up just as the train pulled into the station, out of breath and shaking limbs. Collapsing into empty seats, they were happy just to listen to the conversations around them, the rest of the team overlapping each other with their multiple conversations. 

Tanaka and Noya were undoubtedly the loudest, but Suga was a contender with his passion for the seals. Daichi made conversation with Ennoshita and Narita, things like budgeting, getting maps, a buddy system, separating and meet-up times... Sometimes it was almost like they were the dad trio. Asahi logically reckoned that if those three were the dads, then the kids were... His eyes drifted over to the first years and he smiled softly. 

Hinata was silent for once, his eyes wide with awe and amazement as he listened to Tsukishima talking about different marine life. The blond had a fire in his eyes, a zeal that betrayed how he wholehearted enjoyed the prospect of going to an aquarium. As Asahi eavesdropped, he realised that Tsukishima was a book of knowledge on sea creatures, insanely fascinated to the point of bordering on obsession. 

Kageyama and Yamaguchi stood by their sides, discussing their own ideas about what to do, where would be the most exciting to linger, and what the best creature obviously was. An announcement came over the train speaker that they would soon be arriving at their stop. Daichi cleared his throat authoritatively, drawing attention his way and silencing the groups.

“First things first, we will all be entering together. I want you all to travel in groups of three, and there should be at least one map between your trio. We’ll meet up for dinner in the decided place after two hours, and then again in the gift shop at closing time. Here’s your money; don’t waste it on food throughout the trip if you want souvenirs.” He passed out the spending money equally between each of the team, and they were already talking amongst themselves about their groups as they got off the train. 

On the platform, Asahi caught Suga’s eye and his fellow third year beamed, solidifying Asahi’s suspicions that they’d be in their usual group. The same went for Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita, who quickly bundled together. The only remaining issue was that there were four first years, and two remaining second years. Daichi sighed. He didn’t really want to split their underclassmen up, but there would be trouble if he left Noya and Tanaka to run wild together...

“Noya, join Kageyama and Hinata. Tanaka, you’ll group with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Kageyama, Tsukishima, you two are in charge. Please keep your respective second year in line.” Noya let out and indignant squawk and Tanaka swore under his breath, loudly. The two that were now in charge both held a hint of a smirk, although Kageyama’s was mostly due to the fact that he now had _permission_ to boss Hinata around. 

On the other hand, Tsukishima was just proud that he had been acknowledged as a respectable and trustworthy member of the team. He walked back to his trio and reluctantly gave Yamaguchi a high-5 when the boy held his hand up expectantly. Daichi puffed his chest out, arms folded. 

“Alright, in we go!” They made their way into the building, passing over their tickets at the doors. Even the reception area was constructed to look like walking under the ocean, the floor hand-painted with sand, pillars of rock with starfish and coral shapes, the ceiling decorated to represent the ocean. Food stands were ingrained into the walls, and even the benches and tables were designed to look like they were underwater, the tables being a plastic turtle shell, and the benches wood-carved and painted to represent a bed of seaweed. 

The main hall split off into three paths marked ‘entrance’, with a signpost outside each one. There was the ‘fish’ trail, the ‘mammals’ trail, and the ‘interactive’ trail. Daichi looked around impressively, then walked over to a stand and collected four maps, passing them out to each trio.

“This is where we’ll meet for dinner, considering there are no rules about not backtracking.” With the full Karasuno agreement, they split up. Hinata and Noya instantly dragged Kageyama down the ‘interactive’ trail, ignoring his protests of how he was the leader. Suga led the third years down the ‘mammals’ trail, announcing that he wanted to see the seals before anything else. They were closely followed by Ennoshita and company, who’d studied the map and decided to do the shortest trail first. Without a word, Tsukishima headed for the trail marked ‘fish’, Yamaguchi on his heels understandingly.

“Hey, hey, don’t I get an input!? Oi! You two!” He rolled his eyes as Tanaka tagged along behind them, attempting to protest and just being ignored by Tsukishima. Yamaguchi grinned at him apologetically.

“Tsukki really likes fish, so we’re going this way. I think he’s hoping to see the Lucifer dog-”

“Yamaguchi, shut up. You don’t have to explain my actions to someone who probably doesn’t _understand_.” Tanaka flared up at the vibe, poking Tsukishima in the back harshly as the tall boy snickered. Their light banter continued as the group moved through, Tsukishima occasionally falling silent to read through an information plaque or study a fish species. Whilst Tanaka was a ball of energy, even he had the ability to fall into silence, watching the fish swim past in their tanks with wonder. He was captivated by the colours, the movements, the interactions. His current favourite was the Angler fish, because they looked incredibly scary yet awesome at the same time. 

“Female angler fish will absorb males until nothing remains but a pair of testicles. Some can gain up to ten pairs.”

“What the _fuck_? That’s so cool...” Tsukishima sneered in disgust at Tanaka’s apparent admiration of the parasitic ferocity of angler fish mating. It was as he turned to say something snarky to his usual companion that he realised he’d been abandoned.

“... Where’s Yamaguchi?” Standing up straight with a confused blink, Tanaka scanned the same area Tsukishima had, not that the results would prove any different. 

“I’m sure he was right behind you.” 

“He obviously isn’t now. Come on, we have to find him. Before he gets himself lost like Hinata always does...” 

“I can’t believe Daichi put you in charge and you _lost_ your best friend.” 

_“Shut up!”_ Tsukishima snapped over his shoulder, leering down at Tanaka with an unimpressed glare. Tanaka, however, could see something else. Behind the angry mask that the younger constructed, there was worry in his eyes, a hint of panic that was started to enlarge. With a loud sigh through his nostrils, Tanaka placed a hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder. 

“Don’t worry. He probably just went to get a drink or something whilst we weren’t looking. Either that or he’s caught up in looking at some awesome fish.” He could feel the tension slightly leave Tsukishima’s shoulders. 

“Yeah. Most likely spaced out, as usual.” They exchanged contact information before Tanaka headed back the way they’d came, and Tsukishima continued on the trail, hoping that Yamaguchi had just aimlessly wondered off whilst he’d been educating Tanaka on fish trivia. He sighed in notable relief when he saw the tall, lanky back of a brunet in Karasuno school uniform. 

He sent a quick text off to Tanaka before approaching Yamaguchi, who sat on an observation bench looking quite lost. He was absent minded as he stared blankly through a window at an Indigo Hamlet reef exhibit. He didn’t notice Tsukishima until the blond planted himself on the bench next to him, bringing him out of his musings with a jump. 

“Ts- Tsukki!” A narrow glare instantly silenced any excuse he was about to conjure up. 

“Don’t you _Tsukki_ me. What were you thinking, wondering off like that? We were told to stay in three’s for safety. Just don’t do it again. You... You had me worried.” Yamaguchi beamed at the confession, sitting up straight with a dazzling grin. 

“Sorry Tsukki~! I got distracted thinking of the dolphin swimming, so I just kept walking until I noticed you’d gone! Then I thought I’d wait for you to catch up~. Where’s Tanaka-Senpai?” 

“He’s coming.” Tsukishima had barely gotten the words out when the teenager in question came jogging round the corner and skidded to a halt behind the bench, ruffling Yamaguchi’s hair. 

“You tyke! Can you imagine how much trouble we’d be in if we’d lost you?!” Yamaguchi chimed out an apology in a sing song voice, displaying his internal mirth at the idea of Daichi chewing out the other two. Actually, he realised, that wasn’t a good scenario because he’d be in even more trouble. 

“He wondered off because he was thinking about dolphins.” 

“Oh, the swimming with them thing? That sounds super exciting! We should go after dinner!” 

“Swimming on a full stomach? Even _you_ can’t be that stupid, Tanaka.” Tsukishima received a light smack to the back of his head, snickering at the reaction. Yamaguchi hid his own chuckle behind his hand, brightening up when a hopeful idea came into his head. 

“If we go now, we still have an hour? We can leave the less active trails until after dinner, so the food can settle.” Tsukishima fixed him with a blank look, his glasses lens capturing the reflection from the close exhibit. 

“You just want to play with the dolphins.” 

“You got me~. But _pleeeeeaaaaase_ , Tsukki~? You know how much I love them.” He pouted very slightly, eyes widening with big, black pupils. Tsukishima would not give into that look. He never gave in to that look. 

“Fine.” He prided himself on not giving in for a record twenty four seconds. Yamaguchi clapped his hands together with satisfaction and jumped from the bench, tugging his friend up and dragging him behind. Tanaka didn’t restrain his laugh at the role reversal, catching up with them instantly and making a quiet whip noise in Tsukishima’s ear. The blond’s ears turned red at the tips, his face pulling back into an expression that was almost impossible to read, if it wasn’t for the fact that his eyes flickered to Yamaguchi. Again, Tanaka laughed in uproar, but he tapped the side of his nose the same way Ukai had earlier. For the time being, it was their little secret. The trio entered back into the main hall, Yamaguchi finally releasing his hold on Tsukishima’s sleeve. 

“Tsukki, do you have the map?” He nodded with a grunt, pulling it out of his uniform pocket and unfolding it. 

“Swimming with dolphins... In the interactive trail, past the coral-rock climbing wall, but the stairwell leading up to it is before the colouring station.” Walking sensibly in a line of three, they passed by many interactive activities, some of which nearly stole Tanaka away from their destination. Each time, Tsukishima grabbed him by the back of his collar and dragged him into line. The underwater photo opportunity did look tempting though... His gaze only had to linger for a mere three seconds before Yamaguchi gave him a soft look. 

“We can do it on the way back. All of it~.” 

“Tch. I guess. Honestly, I’m surprised we haven’t seen the freak duo and Noya yet. They seem like the type of dolts to vigorously enjoy this lame stuff.” 

“Tsukki, that’s so mean~!” 

“You didn’t disagree.” 

“... No comment.” 

“Oiiiii! Over here!!!” They were distracted by Tanaka’s shout, standing a stairwell and waving enthusiastically. Yamaguchi jogged over, followed by a less enthusiastic, but still content, Tsukishima Kei. The sides of the stairs were painted to look like breaking waves with dolphins riding the foaming crest. Tsukishima dragged his fingers along the wall as they ascended, feeling the bumps and ridges in the plaster. It was done expertly, each one perfectly carved into the surface to feel like a wave that grew, the ridges deepening as they reached the top of the stairs. 

For a second, the natural light was blinding, but once his eyesight adjusted, Tsukishima realised they were standing in front of a massive open area, benches similar to the ones in an American high school all the way around the outside, and a large pool in the centre. Two members of staff directed the trio to a small changing shack, where temporary wetsuits would be fitted. Buzzing with excitement, Yamaguchi was the first to head in that direction. He wasn’t the first _in_ the shack though. Just as he opened the door to enter, something -someone- smacked into his chest. 

“Gwack!” He blinked as he looked down. 

“Hinata...?” The ginger backed up two steps and his eyes shone with anticipation. 

“You came to do this too~?! Awesome~! You’d better hurry, they only let four people in the pool at a time, ‘nd Kageyama and Noya are behind me!” That said, he darted off towards the pool where dolphins could be seen just breaching the surface. Yamaguchi managed to step back just before Noya barrelled out, jumping to high-5 Tanaka as he passed. With a light chuckle, Yamaguchi entered and a member of staff analysed him before handing over one of their largest wetsuits. 

He changed quickly, overtaking Kageyama as the youngest struggled to pull the weird material on. In the all-black wetsuit, he couldn’t tell which hole was for his legs, arms, or head. He growled in frustration as he was informed that his left foot was in the sleeve _again_. Yamaguchi zipped up his own wetsuit, tightening the Velcro around his ankles and wrists to make sure water wouldn’t get inside. 

“Here, let me help you.” Kageyama grumbled under his breath, but allowed Yamaguchi to assist him, even zipping up the back and rolling down the collar. 

“How are you so damn quick at this?” 

“Practice. My mother used to take me deep-sea free diving.” Kageyama whipped his head round and fixed him with a ludicrous look. His face was completely screwed up in such a nonsensical state of questioning, that Yamaguchi couldn’t help but laugh. They exited the shack and walked over to the pool, where Hinata and Noya were waiting. All four of them received the same lecture about safety and the principles of being underwater. 

For the first five minutes, they would be accompanied by a member of staff, and for the time after that, they’d be on their own, observed from a distance. They had a minimum twenty minutes, but could stay as long as they liked, unless other people turned up wanting their turn. Instructions and safety talks given, they were allowed in the pool. There was one member of staff to two students, but with Yamaguchi’s apparent _expertise_ in the diving and swimming department, more support was given to those that needed it. 

Tsukishima and Tanaka watched from the bench area, the former listening to music through his headphones, one ear pushed back so that he could still hear and make light conversation. He could see Yamaguchi light up as a dolphin approached him, and smirked softly. He knew that Yamaguchi was experienced with underwater swimming, and it had been the freckled boy’s lifelong ambition to swim with dolphins one day. These may not have been in the wild, amongst the coral reefs, but they were still dolphins, and that was all that mattered to Yamaguchi. On the other hand, Tanaka had no idea, and nudged Tsukishima with a lack of colour in his usually tanned skin. 

“Hey, uh... He went under the water like, two minutes ago. Should we shout out for help?” 

“No.” 

“No?! What if he’s drowning?!” 

“If that were the case, Tanaka, I assure you he’d be underwater for longer than two minutes.” Tanaka fixed him with a look somewhere between confused and worried. Tsukishima sighed, sensing that he’d have to waste his breath explaining it. 

“Yamaguchi’s mother is a deep sea free diver, not just an ordinary one, a _world class_ diver. She’s ranked fourth in Japan. Obviously, she taught Yamaguchi all these techniques from the moment he could crawl. A true water baby. As far as I know, he can dive 200 meters and hold his breath underwater without swimming for _half an hour_. With swimming, I’d say... 15 minutes? It’s insane.” Tanaka’s jaw dropped, turning his gaze back to where the dolphins, in their pod, were following a black suited shape underwater. He popped up close to Hinata, scaring the ginger a little with how he appeared from nowhere. 

The dolphins seemed to demand attention, whistling and nudging the duo before a few of them dispersed over to where Kageyama was lingering near the shallower edge, and Noya was currently splashing around with one of the dolphins that had broken off from the pod earlier. The playful creatures rolled over, slapped the surface of the water with their tails, and generally yearned to swim along their new companions. The staff tossed in a few toys, Hinata quickly grabbing a beach ball and throwing it towards Kageyama, who automatically set it. A few of the dolphins jumped for it, hitting it with their snouts. Hinata burst out laughing. 

“Volleyball with dolphins! This is the best day of my LIFE~!” Hinata, Kageyama and Noya formed a triangle, playing with the beach ball between them and interacting with the dolphins that way. Tsukishima watched them for a small while and then turned his attention to Yamaguchi. He’d briefly surfaced to take a breath, sunlight shimmering on the water droplets that adorned his face, tiny rainbows reflecting over his freckles, like a bridge between stars. The smallest of the dolphins came up to his side, rolling over resting a flipper on Yamaguchi’s back before diving down and resurfacing to nudge his side. Yamaguchi laughed light, repeating the action with his arms instead of a flipper. He’d read up on dolphin interaction and understood that this was an extension of friendship, essentially an invitation to the pod that he had just accepted. Tsukishima rolled his eyes as the brunet disappeared beneath the surface once more. 

“Shit, he’s gotten attached. We’ll never get him out.” Footsteps distracted him, and he turned his head to see the third years appearing out of the stairwell. Sugawara’s eyes lit up and he waved at his kouhai, coming over to join them on the benches. 

“Hey~. We thought it would be a good idea to come and swim before dinner. Full stomachs, and all that~.” 

“Yamaguchi said the same thing then dragged me ‘n’ Tsukishima here~!” Tilting his head, Sugawara looked around the general area. 

“Where is he?” Daichi came over, picking up on the conversation. Asahi was strangely absent, but that mystery was solved when the click of the changing shack door sounded out. Tsukishima rolled his eyes, adopting a bland and bitter tone. 

“Direct your gaze to the massive pool in front of us and notice the gathering of dolphins swimming around as they follow something. That’s Yamaguchi. He’s been adopted into the pod.” His dry statement was met with laughter, and Suga placed his hands on his hips casually. 

“Well, I guess we’ll be leaving here minus one then~.” 

“If he gets his way, yes.” Whilst Suga’s statement had been in good humour, Tsukishima knew it was most likely the truth. The two took their place on the bench next to Tanaka, talking amongst themselves cheerfully. In jest, they even criticised their teammates for their volleyball ‘match’ against the dolphins. Daichi was obviously getting antsy, and Tsukishima wondered if he’d have to deliver the same explanation to him as he did to Tanaka earlier. 

“I think Yamaguchi might be dro-” Tanaka held up a hand to interrupt. 

“Free diver, trained since crawling, 15 minutes underwater, yadayadayada.” For once, Tsukishima was pleased that he’d made conversation with Tanaka. Daichi only blinked, eyebrows raised. His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and Suga breathed out a sound of admiration. 

“That’s really amazing...” They watched in silence as the quartet continued to play, before Asahi emerged from the shack. It meant that one of them would have to remove themselves from the pool. Surprisingly, Kageyama volunteered, stating that he would set from the side of the pool and the others could return it. Asahi nodded at him gratefully, taking his place in the pool whilst Kageyama stood poolside and served. It was much more fun with the dolphins intervening repeatedly, but it was impossible to get angry at the disrupted game. After all, they were here for dolphins in the first place! After a good few minutes, Daichi’s watch bleeped out an alarm. 

“Ah, time to head back and meet up in the main hall. Although... There’s only Ennoshita’s group left to meet.” He chuckled softly as Suga stood up and shouted to the group. 

“Guys! Time to go! Food is waiting~!” 

“FOOD~!” Hinata sprinted through the water as quickly as he could, crying out in frustration when Kageyama reached the shack first. It had been obvious considering that he hadn’t been _in_ the water to start with. Noya cheerfully followed, stopping to give the dolphin at his side one last affectionate scratch before leaping from the edge. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes as he scanned the pool surface. Of course Yamaguchi would have just so happened to dive again. 

“The rest of you had best go on first. I’m going to have to drag him from the pool kicking and screaming.” Suga placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“I’ll stay and help. After all, none of you have ever said no to me before~.” Daichi mumbled something under his breath, and Sugawara turned to him with a devious smile. 

“Oh? You’re volunteering too, Sawamura? How noble of you, papa crow~.” The captain swallowed, knowing that he couldn’t refuse or his life would be hell for the next week. He just nodded, turning to the others as they exited the shack, trying to ignore Tanaka’s not-so-subtle snickering. 

“Asahi, take the others down there. Suga and I are staying to help Tsukishima for the moment.” 

“A-Ah, okay~...” He probably should have felt guilty leaving Asahi to deal with three hyperactive balls of energy, but even as Noya launched himself onto Asahi’s back for a piggyback, he couldn’t bring himself to feel even the slightest twinge of remorse. Hinata tried to repeat the same action with Kageyama and almost got pushed down the stairs, before Tanaka offered to carry his precious underclassman. Kageyama was last to disappear from view, sending the team parents an expression that pleaded for salvation from this madness. His only response was a wave from Suga, smile still in place. With a sigh, Tsukishima moved to the edge of the pool, crouching down. 

“Yamaguchi. Come on, it’s time to go.” Nothing. Not even ripples on the surface. He ran a hand over his face in exhaustion. Why did he put up with this? Oh yes, because Yamaguchi was his best friend. That was why. Apparently, the role of being a friend came with the sacrifice of sanity and the gift of patience. 

“There’ll probably be a stand that does French fries.” The surface of the water broke on the other side of the pool, Yamaguchi looking over at them with a yearning expression that was tainted with mischief. 

“Tsukki, buy me some? I’ll- I’ll come and eat later!” 

“No. You want them, you get out.” The boy whined, eyebrows drawing in to form an angry pout. 

“You’re mean, Tsukki!” Just like that, he took a deep breath, and dived beneath the surface again. From behind Tsukishima, Daichi muttered something to Suga. The setter nodded with a smile, coming over to join Tsukishima right on the edge. 

“Yamaguchi, you can come back before we leave~. There’s plenty of time for dinner to settle, and then come back.” The three waited in anticipation, but nothing happened. It seemed like it was time for a different approach. Daichi took his ‘dad’ stance, looking authoritative and powerful, even from below the surface of the water. 

“Yamaguchi, get out of this pool _**now**_ , or I’ll put a two match ban on you. I don’t care about the consequences of that, but you certainly will. You’re supposed to be a Karasuno crow, and fly, not swim!” A shadow under the water swam closer, trilling dolphins behind him. Yamaguchi’s freckled face popped up and he had an irritated facial expression. As soon as the pinch server opened his mouth, Tsukishima knew it was going to be something stupid. 

“I’m not a crow, I’m a dolphin! You’ll never take me alive!” The resulting splash from when he dived away soaked all three bystanders, the nearby staff trying to muffle their giggles. Daichi’s face fell. It twitched. Suga and Tsukishima backed off as he exploded. 

“Tadashi, get your ass out here, _right this instance, or god forbid, **I will come in there, and DRAG YOU OUT.”**_ It didn’t take long until the group of four were entering the main hall, the youngest dragged along by Suga by his ear lobe. 


	6. Spatium Vaccas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just after Asahi came back to the club, he set out to repair the distance between him and his fellow third years.
> 
> With a sleepover.  
> Could that idea have been any worse!?

When Asahi had rejoined the team, he had quickly realised that there was a rift left behind. Not between himself and Noya, because that had been patched up during their practice match. Not between himself and Tanaka, because despite his scary appearance, the bald boy was sweet, caring, and forgiving. Not between himself and the other second years either, because they understood what it was to run away from a situation, only to return with a longing that bordered on fixation. 

Asahi’s glance drifted over to where Daichi and Suga were conversing at the side of the room. The literal space between them reflected the rift that had remained, despite his attempts to fix it with apologies, and intense effort in each spike. It wasn’t a break in trust, or even hurt. It was abandonment. He had abandoned them as friends, and left them without an explanation, without any words. 

It was most likely, that the rift he had created was loneliness. They’d had to keep the volleyball club going without an Ace, which was easy enough. But they’d had to do it without their friend, the third member of their trio. That had probably been the worst part, what had affected them the most. Taking in a deep breath, Asahi approached them. His long, semi-confident strides faltered into timid shuffles as they noticed him, and he pondered if running away would be the better op-

No. No more running away.

“Ah, Suga, Daichi... I was- Was wondering if I could ask you something?” Daichi looked like he was about to make a wise crack like ‘you just did’ before Suga elbowed him in the ribs.

“What is it, Asahi?” He shuffled hesitantly, his hands fumbling together in front of him as he tried to get the words out.

“AreYouFreeTonightAndWouldYouLikeToComeOverForASleepover?” His rapid sentence ended with him _nearly_ biting his tongue, but he managed to catch it just in time and his eyes darted up to see Daichi and Suga looking back in surprise. Daichi managed to translate first, and sighed heavily; setting aside the clipboard he was holding.

“Last time we came for a sleepover you didn’t have any food prepared, you had no spare futons, and you were so nervous, you spilled lemonade over us.”

“Umm... It won’t- It won’t happen again?” Suga flicked him in the side, grinning widely despite Asahi’s uncertainty.

“Don’t make it sound like a question. We’ll be there~.” The Ace breathed out a sigh of relief, physically deflating as the tension left his shoulders. He turned to head back to the clubroom, a little faster than usual as he needed to make sure everything was set up. He had a basic plan, but all he needed to do was implement the actual actions. This was going to be the best sleepover _ever_. He hoped it would also fix that crevice between him and his fellow third-years. 

“Gotta get it right, gotta get it right, gotta get it right...” His mumbles continued the whole way home, removing his shoes in the doorway and dropping his bag into its space. There was no need to announce his arrival home, as both his parents worked until extremely late. They had probably only left an hour or two ago. 

With a spring in his step, Asahi jogged around the house, organising everything as according to his mental list. Floor cleaned, tonkatsu cooked, ready to just be heated up, individual bottles of fizzy drinks and juice cartons in the kitchen, dessert in the fridge, and the spare futons washed and laid out in his bedroom. Surveying the room with his hands on his hips, he huffed proudly. Yes, this sleepover was going to be perfect. Like a finely tuned orchestra. 

It was only when there was a knock on the door downstairs that he faltered. Suga and Daichi had arrived, exactly on time as he stated, but for some reason, a jolt of nervousness ran through him. He made his way down the stairs, skipping every other step with his long legs, until he stood in front of the door. He could see their shadows on the other side of the door and gulped, reaching out to open it.

“W-Welcome!” He bowed at the waist, almost making himself pass out with the speed and momentum. When he dared to gaze back up, the two were looking at him in confusion. 

“Ano, Asahi? You really don’t have to do that.” He sheepishly scratched the back of his head, averting his eyes from Suga’s slight concern. There was no way that the setter could miss Asahi’s apparent nervousness, bubbling from deep within his stomach. A light punch to his arm had him flinch and move to the side, looking at Daichi with betrayal and surprise. The captain just laughed heartily, as he always did.

“Don’t be so nervous, glass-heart! After all, that’s what ruined it last time, right?” The laughter turned into a sharp look, and Asahi got the feeling that Daichi wasn’t talking about the sleepover anymore. He swallowed, stepping aside to let them both in. The duo slipped off their shoes and dumped their bags, perfectly comfortable in Asahi’s home, seeing as they’d been over numerous times before. Apart from the slight uneasy tension between them, it was like nothing had changed. 

The rest of the evening proceeded smoothly, the food cooked to perfect and fizzy drinks not landing in anyone’s lap. The thin layer of tension had completely ebbed away, three friends reunited just as they had been before, as close as ever. Asahi’s parents returned somewhere between midnight and one in the morning, shooing the trio off to bed. Suga and Daichi settled into the burrowed futons with light feelings in their chests, knowing that somehow, their glass-hearted ace had pieced together all the loose fragments, stronger than ever. Their Ace was back and better than ever. Their _friend_ was back, and he had proved that he wasn’t leaving again. 

The tired trio drifted off to sleep, content in all that had been resolved. There would be plenty to talk about the next morning, more to catch up on and stories to share. Or that would have been the case, if they had made it all the way through until morning, which teenagers generically believed didn’t start until 8am. 

It was only just gone 4 when Asahi bolted up in bed, waking as he jerked from lying down to an abrupt sitting up position with a strange squawking noise that mixed confusion, laughter, and fear. The bizarre noise awoke Suga with a bolt from the blue, slowly rubbing at his eyes to spot Asahi still sitting up, hands over his mouth as he muffled his laughter and... Sobbing?

“Asahi, are you okay?” He whispered it softly into the darkness, moving from his futon to perch on the edge of Asahi’s bed, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. It was only when Asahi gave a shuddering snort that he realised the sobbing was merely crying from laughter. The silver haired setter rolled his eyes lightly and bopped Asahi on the nose. 

“What on earth were you dreaming about~?” He took a moment to compose himself, fluttering his hands lightly at the side of his face as if to magically flap away the tears. The Ace took in a deep breath and begun recounting his dream to Suga. 

“I- I don’t know why or how, but for some reason we were in a pantomime in space? And- and it was really weird, there was a purple castle and Kageyama was a princess and Hinata was a dragon and Tsukishima was a cat? Noya was a tree, Suga. A _tree_. One of those pantomime trees with the hole cut out so you can see the persons face? So- so just as Hinadragon was running away from princess Kageyama, there was a two-headed cow, and- and it was _us_ , Suga. You and Daichi were the heads, and I was- I was the **butt** of a pantomime cow in space.” Sugawara’s eyes were partly crinkled, his nose shrivelled up and his top lip risen as he could only summon four simple words. 

“What the _fuck_ , Asahi.” By now, Daichi had blinked off enough doziness to sit up in his futon and listen too. Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Asahi waving his hands about and snorting with laughter again.

“That isn’t even the end of it.”

“Oh my word, do we even want to know?” From the way Asahi giggled, the answer was probably a no, but Suga pat his back encouragingly anyways, despite Daichi’s apparent unwillingness to hear more.

“We- We got backstage, and took the costume off and-! Pfft~! We were _actually_ space cows! Tiny little green fairy cows with robotic extensions to play the pantomime cow that spoke in _**Latin**_!” As Asahi doubled over laughing in bed, Sugawara and Daichi shared a look, simultaneously shaking their heads in part amusement, part exhaustion. Suga slipped from the bed and back into his own futon, settling down in the same way that Daichi turned over with his back to Asahi.

“Asahi, go to sleep.” Just before they could drift off again, Asahi snorted and randomly mumbled.

_“Spatium vaccas.”_


	7. Yahaba knows everything and it's terrifying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team meals are great, until you have that one grump who refuses to participate.

“Iwa-chan, please eat with uuuus~.”

“No.”

“Please, Iwa-chan?”

“No.”

“We all want you to come!”

“No.”

“I’ll cry if you don’t...” 

“...Good.” Oikawa’s attempt at a cutesy pout was utterly ignored as Iwaizumi turned his back on the setter, walking out of the gymnasium. Shock and dismay exaggerated themselves on Oikawa’s face and he dramatically gasped.

“You’re abandoning us, Iwa-chan?! After all our hard work, after all the wins and losses, you’re just going to walk away and _not_ come to a team meal that Coach is paying for?!” The dark-haired Ace looked over his shoulder with a pissed-off stare, the corner of his lips pulled up in distaste. He resumed walking as soon as Oikawa faltered in his confident pose.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Iwaizumi didn’t intend to stop again, until he heard the bouncing of a volleyball, travelling from Oikawa’s hand to the floor, the same way he prepared for a serve. Instantly knowing what was coming his way, Iwaizumi dropped his bag and spun around on foot, sinking into receive position. The ball narrowly missed his face, deflecting off his arms and bouncing off to the side, rolling into a bush. 

Tugging up his sleeves with a face of anger, Iwaizumi started storming over to Oikawa with the promise of pain in his thunderous walk. The Grand King took a good few steps back, grinning all too cheerfully for someone who was about to get smacked round the head. All too late, Iwaizumi realised it was a trap. As soon as his second foot entered the gymnasium, shoe squeaking against the floor, he was grabbed from each side by Hanamaki and Matsukawa. His height worked against him. They lifted him up from either side, rendering it incapable for Iwaizumi to break for it. Oikawa only grinned brightly, tilting his head to the side and reaching out to tap Iwaizumi’s nose.

“See, Iwa-chan~? We all want you to come, so we’re gonna make you~!”

“I’m going to kill you, Shittykawa. Trash King Tooru. Dumbass. Don’t think I’ll let the rest of you off easy, either!” The first-years seemed unsettled at the exclamation, unsure as to whether or not this included them. On the other hand, Yahaba and Watari brushed it off with a roll of the eyes or a silly smile. It was just another one of Iwaizumi’s hollow threats, the kind he churned out when he was displeased, but forgot once he was ‘tamed’, as Oikawa had put it. As much as Iwaizumi struggled, flailed, kicked, and shouted abuse, his fellow third years weren’t giving in. 

The disinclined participant was carried over to the minivan where the Coach waited in the driver’s seat. He wasn’t even phased, unfortunately used to these sort of incidents. It came with the ‘gift’ (read; Torture), of choosing to coach enthusiastic youngsters at a mischievous age, with strong bonds that endured crippling losses and brought the warmest victories. The team’s latest win in a practice match was exactly the reason he had decided to treat them, rewarding them for their efforts in training hard for the upcoming spring tournament. 

Threatening to ruin it, however, was the little storm cloud metaphorically hovering over their Ace’s head. Despite their win, Iwaizumi had missed two vital receives, and one of his spikes had veered wildly into the ‘out’ section due to his building frustration and desperation. His bad mood was most likely due to that, prompting his refusal to join the rest of the teammates for a free meal. 

Wrestled into the back seat, he was framed either side by Oikawa and Yahaba, whilst Watari had taken it upon his cheerful self to sit in Iwaizumi’s lap, further hindering his planned escape. The doors of the minibus were guarded by Matsukawa and Hanamaki, whilst Kindaichi and Kunimi sat innocently in the centre of the minibus, talking to each other over their latest social network updates and new videos they had discovered to be shared. It was a fresh-faced virtuousness that never seemed to last long in the company of Oikawa Tooru, the coach lamented. By the time the third year left, those two would be just as corrupt as the current second years. He sighed as he continued driving, pulling to a stop in the parking space of a seafood restaurant. The team jumped out of the minibus with enthusiasm, all except for Iwaizumi. 

Having refused to get on the minibus in the first place, he was now refusing to leave. The Ace was stubborn like that. 

“The rest of you go ahead, we’ll catch up~! Right, Iwa-chan?”

“Wrong.”

“See~? Go ahead, team!” Oikawa waved them off in dismissal, grinning brightly. It was only when they had disappeared from view into the restaurant the Oikawa let his face melt into contemplative concern, turning to his friend. 

“Iwa-chan.”

“Just go, Trashykawa.”

“Not without you. This is a _team_ meal.”

“There are only 6 people on the court plus a libero. That’s seven. Once you go in there, that’s the full group.”

“I- Iwa-chan, don’t be like that. Come on, you didn’t do bad at all! It can’t be the match that’s got you all grumpy! ... Right?” Iwaizumi snorted and rolled his eyes.

“No, it’s not. I’m not grumpy anyways! I just wanted to go home straight after practice.” Oikawa knew Iwaizumi better than that. His eyebrows furrowed and he moved to stand in front of Iwaizumi with a hint of the same intimidation he used against rivals.

“Reason.” There was no question, only a demand. Iwaizumi stared back stubbornly, refusing to give in.

“Reason, Iwa-chan.”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime. Give. Me. A reason.” Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Iwaizumi averted his gaze.

“Will you shut up and leave me alone if I come in to that stupid restaurant?” Instantly, Oikawa cheered up, clapping his hands in a ridiculous level of glee. 

“Yup~!” With a sigh of defeat, Iwaizumi rose from his seat and followed Oikawa, mumbling under his breath. They were directed over to the rest of the team by the sounds of their voices, a ruckus that nobody could miss. Oikawa slipped into place between Matsukawa and Watari, leaving the only remaining chair on the corner of the table, next to Kunimi and opposite the Coach. 

It was a lucky break, Iwaizumi thought, because it meant he could most likely do what he wanted without getting his behaviour noted by the rest of the group. To appease the stares he was currently receiving from the Coach sitting opposite, he stood a menu up in front of him and pretended to read through, leaning against the palm of his hand in disinterest. 

He drifted into his own little world, a haze covering his hazel eyes and making them appear more brown than green. Nobody noticed. It was a bad choice for Iwaizumi though, when he didn’t realise his attention was needed until a hand waved in front of his face. He blinked, realising that Kunimi had had to bring him out of his thoughts because a waitress was standing at the other end of the table, waiting to take his order. He hadn’t even read the menu! What was he supposed to do now?! He fell back on the one line that always saved his ass when he couldn’t decide what he wanted.

“Uh, chef’s recommendation.” The waitress nodded and walked off with the orders, leaving Iwaizumi to exhale in relief unnoticeably. He kept an ear out for conversation, occasionally looking at whoever was speaking to _seem_ like he was engaging in the discussion. It was just meaningless small-talk, useless chatter that he usually found amusement in. His sour mood ruined that. He didn’t want to be here. All he wanted was to go home. An annoying chirrup from the other end of the table had him click his tongue in irritation.

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan! What would you rather~?”

“I’d rather you shut up.” His dry response warranted some snickers and Oikawa faked a heartbroken look, clutching over his chest.

“So mean! I meant would you rather have a cat or a dog!”

“Cat. Less noisy, less messy, buries its own shit, and doesn’t require constant supervision or entertainment.” He wasn’t going to disclose to the group that he already had a cat. Three, to be exact. The only one who would possibly know would be Yahaba, who had once questioned why Iwaizumi was being followed by a kitten all the way to and from club activates to school to home for a week. 

His response at the time had been that he’d fed it once and it had pestered him ever since, but the second year was wiser than that. He had a strange ability of _knowing_ what his teammates truly felt. Nobody could lie to Yahaba. With that thought in mind, Iwaizumi flicked his gaze over to the secondary setter. Luckily, they were along the same stretch of table, so there was no way he could be stared at. 

The rest of the waiting time continued as it was, each member trying to make the others laugh with their own stories of doomed mischief, or subjection to pranks. Oikawa interjected the most, having had a multitude of misfortune at the hands of his childhood friend, and even more once he had befriended Matsukawa and Hanamaki. Safe to say, the duo had their own excessive tales to tell, possibly the most outrageous pranks pulled on as many people as Iwaizumi could remember. He found himself unwittingly drawn into the conversation, his bad mood and eagerness to get home forgotten as he begun to enjoy himself. Watari’s enthusiastic talk of the time he ended up rolling down the stairs to the music corridor in a taped-up bin were cut short by a low and extended grumble. All eyes turned to the first-years.

“Wasn’t me.”

“Not me either.” The rumble occurred again, like the breaking of thunder, rolling across a midsummer day. 

“ _Iwa-chan_! I can’t believe that’s you!”

“Sh-Shut up, Dumbass.”

“Oh my gosh, you must be starving!”

“I’ve never heard anyone’s stomach rumble like that.”

“Didn’t you eat lunch?”

“Are you okay, Senpai?” He was grateful for Kindaichi’s blatant concern, as well as the underlying apprehension from his other teammates.

“I’m fine. Just a little hungry.”

“That’s alright, food’s coming right now.”

“Whoop, food~!” He rolled his eyes at Hanamaki and Matsukawa before he processed what they had just said. 

_Food_. His stomach churned, and not for a good reason. It turned out that the chef’s recommendation just had to be oysters. He hoped nobody would notice as he tried to cunningly dispose of them in a serviette he had unfolded in his lap. Pretending to eat them was easy, just raising the shell to his lips and tipping, pulling it away just an inch for the oyster meat to fall. Getting that fall to be precisely into the serviette was the hard part. One had already landed on his stomach which he’d quickly brushed off, and another was on the floor after rebounding off his pants leg. 

His stomach continued to make unhelpful noises, occasionally drawing attention. He prayed to any deity that listened to be able to leave early. Buddha forbid they should ask for-

“Hey Coach, are we getting dessert too~?!” Iwaizumi resisted the urge to slam his head on the table, or lean over and slam Oikawa’s head on the table. The setter bounced lightly in his seat like an impatient child, eagerly awaiting the Couch’s response.

“Well... I hadn’t intended on it... But I suppose it’ll be within budget.” What little hope Iwaizumi had faded quickly as the team cheered. He felt like they were supporting his misery. Oikawa watched with a little bit of his own misery as Iwaizumi quietly excused himself from the table, heading for the bathrooms. He was hiding something in front of him, that was for sure... Still, the setter distracted himself by looking through the dessert menu with wide, childlike eyes. He gave an excited squeal that drew all the attention his way. Turning around the menu, he pointed to a picture of the biggest ice-cream sundae he’d ever seen.

“Look, _look~!_ It’s called ‘The Great Eight’! Eight different flavours with eight different toppings that takes eight people to eat! It’s perfect for us~!” Sound agreement met his words. The dessert was ordered, Oikawa taking his time to flirt with the waitress now that Iwaizumi wasn’t here to tell him off. By the time had gotten _yet another_ number, and the waitress departed, he realised with rising fretfulness that Iwaizumi hadn’t returned yet. 

He sent a desperate glance straight to Yahaba, who nodded in understanding and excused himself too. The second year entered the bathrooms casually, glancing around to search for his upperclassman. He wasn’t at the urinals, and he hadn’t escaped, which meant only one thing. He walked over to the only closed door of the stalls.

“Senpai?” There was a stretch of silence before a grumbling stomach answered, followed by an annoyed ‘Tch!’. No doubt about it, Iwaizumi was there.

“You know, the idea of coming off the minibus wasn’t so you could hide in here instead.”

“Wasn’t hiding.” The door opened and Iwaizumi came out, looking a little bit ashen. At first, Yahaba thought that he’d possibly been sick, but his intuition told him differently. 

“You didn’t actually eat those oysters, did you? You came here to dispose of them.”

“What the _hell_? How do you do that, Yahaba?!” The brunet’s lips twitched upwards.

“Omniscient, omnipresent. That aside, why aren’t you eating? You’re obviously hungry.”

“Look, I just want to go home, okay?” Something in Iwaizumi’s eyes flared as he attempted to glare at Yahaba. The setter immediately latched onto it, smirking when he suddenly understood.

“You’re a picky eater.”

“Can you _stop doing **that?!**_ It’s like you’re in my head or something!”

“High EQ, if you don’t like it, get over it. We’re almost finished anyways. Oikawa’s ordered this monstrous dessert for us all to share.” Drying his hands that he’d washed in the hopes of convincing Yahaba he _hadn’t_ been hiding, Iwaizumi groaned.

“It’s something stupid, isn’t it? Like a huge ice-cream or a dessert pizza.”

“The Great Eight ice-cream sundae.”

“Trashy choice from a trashy person. Why am I not surprised?” Yahaba hid a laugh behind his hand, following the Ace out of the bathroom. In the middle of their table, already being ravenously devoured, was a humongous ice-cream _tree_. 

The restaurant description hadn’t been kidding when it said it needed eight people to finish. The large scoops of colourful ice-cream were drizzled in thick sauces of caramel, chocolate, strawberry, and mint. The other four toppings were chocolate flakes, rainbow sprinkles, cookie crumbs, and almonds. It was quite a sight to see, and Iwaizumi almost wanted to try it. Almost. He didn’t quite fancy anything that sickeningly sweet. 

On the other hand, the rest of the team were thoroughly enjoying it. Oikawa didn’t quite so much eat it, as inhale it, whilst Matsukawa and Hanamaki were challenging each other to get the biggest spoonful without brain freeze. Watari was stealing all the cookie crumb pieces, not caring about the flavour of the ice-cream as long as he was getting his favourite topping. Kunimi lazily scooped from whatever was closest, and Yahaba joined him with just as much enthusiasm. Kindaichi must have, in the end, had more on his face than in his stomach. Iwaizumi had just chuckled and wiped his face with a spare serviette. 

_“You’re such a mum, Iwa-chan~.”_

_“Shut it, Shittykawa!”_

_“Ow! Don’t throw a spoon at me! Such a brute! Mean, Iwa-chan, mean!”_

Content with their meal, the team headed back to the minibus, oblivious to the lament of their Coach, grieving over his much lighter wallet. Eight teenage volleyball players made a large dent in the finances when it came to feeding. He dropped them all off at an agreed point near the school, watching them go their separate ways. 

Oikawa skipped into step alongside Iwaizumi, with Yahaba following close behind. It helped that they all lived down the same street, although Yahaba’s house was much further down that same road. 

“Iwa-chan, your stomach is still growling at me~.”

“Yeah? Maybe it’s conveying my feelings.”

“... So rude.” Their light bickering continued until Oikawa flitted away down his garden path. Four houses later, and Iwaizumi was prepared to say goodbye to his underclassman, until he realised Yahaba had followed him up to the doorstep.

“What?”

“I’m curious to see what you actually eat, if the finest seafood isn’t good enough for your tastes~.”

“Can’t use your freaky ‘Omni-whatever’ powers?” Yahaba shook his head, loose fringe sweeping over his eyes. 

“Tch. Fine. My parents aren’t home anyways.” He unlocked the door and allowed Yahaba in, removing his shoes and placing them to the side whilst dumping his bag in the corner. The second-year copied, apologising for the intrusion as necessary before leaving the shoe-removing platform and following Iwaizumi through to the kitchen area. He was rummaging through a cupboard, the tips of his spiky hair brushing against the top. From the back, he wrestled out a small saucepan, placing it on the hob before filling a kettle with hot water and boiling it. 

“Would you like some tea? We have Jasmine, Matcha, green, pomegranate, and mango.”

“Oh, uh... no thank you, Senpai.”

“Drop the Senpai. This isn’t exactly school, Yahaba.” 

“Okay~.” He watched as Iwaizumi prepared himself some bitter Matcha tea, very finicky in the measurements and how perfect it had to be. With that level of capriciousness, Yahaba was definite in the fact that whatever Iwaizumi chose to eat, it would be something almost regal. The Ace switched the hob on, pouring the boiled water into the saucepan with precaution. As it was starting to simmer, Iwaizumi stretched up (on tiptoes, how cute), and took something out of a small top cupboard. He moved too quickly for Yahaba to see what it was, until the ultimate moment. 

Tapping his left-hand fingers on the counter-top in embarrassment, Iwaizumi dropped a brick of tofu into the saucepan. Yahaba couldn’t help it. He tried so hard not to laugh, but he just couldn’t hold it down. He ended up with his arms wrapped around his stomach, leaning back against the kitchen wall to keep himself on his feet. Iwaizumi stiffened, his shoulders raised with tension and clenched palms rigidly by his side, his lips sucked in as if he’d eaten a lemon and eyebrows quavering as he tried to fight off the rising blush. He was successful.

“Wh-What’s so funny, huh?!” His voice broke through Yahaba’s hilarity of the situation, the second-year straightening up and catching his breath to answer.

“S-sorry, Iwaizumi~. But it’s just-! Pfft! You’re a picky eater, but you pick _plain, cheap tofu_ over anything else!” 

This time, Iwaizumi didn’t manage to fight off his blush.


	8. Dinosaurs are real, but tiny, okay?

The Karasuno training camp house was very little and often broken in places. It often took a good clean and some patching up before it was live-able in. This time around, it seemed like the rainstorm from a week beforehand had not only ripped holed in the roof, but splintered some of the older wooden panels and opening it up to nature. 

As part of tradition, the first years were tasked with removing any wildlife that had made the vacant building their temporary residence. Sugawara and Asahi stood on standby to treat the almost-equally traditional injuries. Hinata had already gained a bruise from falling off the sofa when a spider landed on his forehead, Yamaguchi turned out to have mild allergic reactions to multiple bug bites, and Kageyama had somehow decided that picking up a hedgehog would be a good idea. Tsukishima had ended up removing it whilst wearing thick gloves, at the same time as the setter got his hand treated. 

The second years were tasked with the actual _fixing_ of things, a job that required tools, potentially dangerous ones. Tanaka and Noya were forbidden from using the hammers, drills, and glue guns. They’d been confined to spanners, wrenches, and screwdrivers, leaving Ennoshita and company to do the majority of the work. Being more mature, their only injuries seemed to be splinters and mild friction burns. 

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!”

“Tanaka! Don’t you _**dare!**_ ” In the meantime, Daichi was on babysitting duty. Joy. Noya burst out into laughter as his friend had the wrench confiscated, receiving a whack around the back of the head from Suga, and an exceptionally intimidating lecture from Daichi about the dangers of underestimating tools. The wing spiker agreed mainly out of fear, before leaping over at Noya and tackling him as soon as Daichi’s back was turned. He was completely aware, rolling his eyes before turning to Suga.

“I thought they were bad enough last year with the bug-eating competition. How on earth did it get even worse?”

“Well, last year they had only the job to amuse themselves. This time, they have tools.”

“Maybe it’s time to break club tradition of assigning roles by year group.” Sugawara laughed lightly as he headed back to Asahi’s side with Daichi in tow.

“Maybe~. But next year, they might actually do rather well on medic duty. Both of them are surprisingly in-tune with their kouhai~.” They stepped into the room, unsurprised to see Asahi putting a blob of mild hydrocortisone cream on Yamaguchi’s neck. The startling part was that the rest of his exposed skin seemed to be covered too. He sheepishly looked up as his upperclassman walked in.

“I found a hornet nest... Or rather, _it_ found me.” Daichi sighed as he rubbed his temples with one hand.

“Why am I not surprised?” Sugawara was more sympathetic, coming over to ruffle his hair and then reach into the first aid kit for a cold compress.

“Are you allergic to them?”

“Hornets, mildly. Bees, stupendously. You’ll know which one I get stung by depending on if I go into anaphylactic shock or not~.”

“You are far too cheerful for that fact.” Yamaguchi shrugged with his usual cheeky grin, making Asahi’s job of applying the cream accurately a little harder. 

Rolling his eyes at the scene, Daichi left the two to treat him before heading off to locate the other first years. He found Hinata in the designated bedroom area, trying to scare a pigeon out the window with a broom. The unamused pigeon just remained in its empty nest, occasionally flapping its wings. Daichi left him with the advice to aim for the nest, not the bird itself. 

He sought out Kageyama for a long while, before eventually finding him _stuck_ on top of a kitchen cupboard, holding a humane trap with a mouse inside. Kageyama was released from his temporary prison, walking away with a blush to do the same to the mouse. Daichi followed him to make sure the release location was far enough away from the building that the mouse wouldn’t come back, but also in an environment Mausu, (Kageyama named it), could make a new home. 

As Kageyama headed back to the building, he hinted that Tsukishima would probably be found slacking off in the bathroom. Henceforth, that was the first place Daichi headed. He sighed as he realised Kageyama was right. The tall blond was casually sitting on the edge of the bathtub, looking through his phone.

“Tsukishima.” 

“Hm?”

“You’re supposed to be helping with the clean up.”

“I am merely taking a break, captain.” Against his better judgement, Daichi walked over and sat next to him on the bathtub edge.

“Everyone else is pulling their weight around here, I don’t see why you shouldn’t.”

“Everyone?” Tsukishima fixed Daichi with an unimpressed look of disagreement, jerking his thumb towards the bathroom window. Reluctantly, the captain looked out. In the courtyard, Tanaka and Noya were messing around by using toilet roll to turn Noya into an ancient Egyptian mummy. Daichi felt a vein throb in his forehead as he pushed the bathroom window open and summoned all the anger he could muster into his voice.

“ _ **GET BACK TO WORK** , YOU TROUBLESOME SLACKERS_!” Honestly, they couldn’t just set a good example. As the duo shrieked at the voice that seemingly came from the heavens, they were suitably spooked enough to actually go inside and start doing their job. With those two taken care of, Daichi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was going to have frown lines by 20 and grey hair by 25, if he even survived the year as team dad.

“Speaking of slackers, Tsukishima, you should get back to work too.”

“I’m busy.” Golden eye peered over the black frame of the glasses with a serious gaze. The stare would probably have unsettled Hinata, if he were here, but it only drew amusement from Daichi.

“Busy? With your phone, which was supposed to be _confiscated_ on the bus?”

“This is my spare.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Tsukishima.” With an unmotivated sigh as if he’d been asked to save the world, the first year turned his phone around to display the screen to Daichi.

_‘Top 10 named dinosaur fossils!’_

“... Really, Tsukishima?”

“London has Dippy the diplodocus and the largest T-Rex fossil found was named Sue. There’s also a Hadrosaur named Leonardo.”

“I- I understand that you have passions other than volleyball, but please get back to cleaning the house.” Scowling in irritation and rolling his eyes, Tsukishima pocketed his phone and picked up the feather duster he had abandoned at his feet. There were cobwebs in the corner to take care of. 

Satisfied, Daichi left the teen in peace to survey everything else. 3 hours later, the Karasuno training camp building was in tip-top shape, exactly the way it had been left last year. The group of 12 gathered in the bedroom, each setting out their futons and sorting through what they had packed. He wasn’t concerned in the slightest that Tsukishima appeared to be even more apathetic than usual. Nope. Not at all.

“Tsukishima, are you feeling alright?” He looked up with the expression of someone who’d just been caught in the act of crime. Additionally, he looked like he was hiding something under his shirt.

“Yes, I’m fine. ... How are you?”

“I’m good. I’ll be better when you show me what you’re hiding.” It was the first time, Daichi thought, that he had ever seen Tsukishima lost for words and so childlike with innocence. A pity that the innocence was fake.

“I’m not hiding anything.” His gaze flicked to his lap, adjusting his shirt. 

“That only makes you more suspicious.” For a moment, there was a pause, then the blond sighed and averted his gaze.

“I don’t really have a choice. Fine, I’ll show you, but I’m keeping him.” _Him?_ Daichi didn’t have time to think before Tsukishima pulled his hand out from under his shirt. There, in his grip, was a small lizard.

“I named him Asili after Asilisaurus, which technically wasn’t a dinosaur but a reptile that would eventually evolve into dinosaur species or lizard genuses.” Finishing his speech by stroking the lizards head, Tsukishima looked back up at Daichi. The captain was pale as a ghost, his face extorted into absolute horror. His shoulders were far too high and his entire body was tensed up, ready to flee. 

The reaction had drawn Sugawara’s attention, whom came up behind Tsukishima and put both hands on his shoulders. The smile on Sugawara’s face suddenly made him wary for the immediate future.

“Tsukishima, why don’t you take that delightful little spawn of Satan outside before the captain starts screaming, hmm~?” His lips formed an ‘o’ shape as the realisation dawned on him that Daichi was terrified. Of a lizard. A tiny little reptile. 

“... I’ll make sure Asili is far enough away that he won’t come back.” He stood, prepared to let his little friend go, when the lizard leapt out of his hand and landed on Daichi’s chest.   
All chaos descended with an ear splitting scream.


	9. Sisterly love just means murdering whoever breaks the motorbike.

“Saeko-nee is going to _murder_ you.”

“No waaay, she totally loves me really~.”

“You will be completely _shredded_!”

“Nah, I’m too cool for that.”

“She’s going to string you from the ceiling by your ankles, with your own intestines and skin you, then roast you, then feed you to stray dogs.”

“I love it when you use unnecessary violence to describe my fate, bro. Look, you have a choice of hop on and get an _awesome_ entrance scene, or walk, and be late.” Noya folded his arms as he contemplated what his best buddy for life was offering. 

A one-time chance to ride a Kawasaki Ninja 250r 2013 edition. In _black_. Excitement tingled through his veins and ran up his spine. He _so_ wanted to do that. Stopping him, however, was the realisation that not only would Saeko kill them if something happened to her precious bike, but also that this was potentially dangerous, and they could accidentally kill themselves. 

On the plus side, it would be the coolest way to go. And Ryuu had a helmet on, offering out a second. How dangerous could it really be?

“Budge up and give me a lift, man.” Buckling up the helmet, Noya swung his leg over the bike and settled in behind Tanaka, grabbing on tightly. It wasn’t a two seater motorcycle, but the duo had been comfortably close for years and could easily share the same seat.

“Ready to hear this baby roar~?!”

“Totally! Bring her to life, bro~!” Tanaka put the key in the ignition and slowly revved up the beautiful, sleek bike. Noya was pretty sure he moaned at the rumble, the powerful vibrations purring beneath him. Tanaka let out a boisterous laugh, kicking off with his leg as he accelerated. 

Despite not having a license, he was fully capable of riding and controlling a motorcycle thanks to being raised by an awesome, if slightly irresponsible, older sister. He let out a holler of exhilaration, Noya echoing it with exactly the same enthusiasm. This was, hands down, the best way of coming to school. Slowing the engine, the libero was disappointed to realise they’d reached the school already.

“Aw man, I wish we’d had longer...”

“... We’re already late, I’m sure Daichi won’t be _too_ mad if we take an extra five minutes.”

“Ryuu, man, let me tell you once more that you are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Pfft~! Only for you, Yuu~.” The beast roared to life again and Noya was incredibly pleased that the adrenaline boost was exactly the same as the first time. Something, however, felt very different. He only realised when Tanaka uttered ‘uh-oh’ under his breath and then the motorcycle veered off to the left.

“ _The goddamn steering is **jammed** and I can’t get the key out_!” Noya had a good idea what that meant. They were stuck going in circles until the gas tank ran out, and then they’d be running on fumes, and that would mess up the engine. Saeko was going to kill them. Just when Noya though it couldn’t get any worse...

“Tanaka! Noya! You were supposed to be in practice ten minutes ago, stop messing around!” A fuming Coach Ukai approached with thunder clouds in his steps, storming over to a safe distance, but close enough to make conversation. 

“We can’t stop! I- I think I broke something!” There was clear panic in Tanaka’s voice, which only helped to fuel Noya’s rising uncertainty. All of a sudden, Ukai leapt past them, into the centre of the circle they were spinning. He watched closely as if judging the timing of the bike, then lunged forwards and gripped the handlebars, rotating them to slow the motorbike down as soon as possible. Why Tanaka hadn’t thought of that, Noya would later question him on, to which he would respond with _‘pure, indescribable fear’._

“Both of you, jump off, now!” With catlike reflexes, Noya sprung from the seat and landed out of harm's way, with Tanaka jumping a little later and scrambling to join his companion and partner in crime. They watched sadly as Ukai released the bike, and the beautiful, powerful machine rolled forwards before falling to her side and skidding in the dust. 

Their mourning for the machine was replaced by fear for their own well-being in less than half a second, when Ukai whirled around to look at them with an extraordinary relaxed expression, considering the tension in his shoulders, the way he stood too straight, and how his fingernails dug into his arm as they were crossed over his chest. He was livid beyond all expectation, but his eyes betrayed the same fright that the two second years were currently feeling. 

As they removed their helmets, Tanaka and Noya realised all too well that they could have been seriously injured, or even _died_ at any point during that journey. Ukai realised it too. Having seen their distress and the turbulent situation, he’d jumped in without hesitation out of fear for the boys. Like _hell_ he was going to let any of these kids get hurt under his watch. 

Even if they were irresponsible, daring, and ultimately made stupid decisions that could risk their lives.

“You two are in serious trouble! What on _earth_ were you _**thinking**_? No, wait, you obviously weren’t! Did you two just wake up and plan to do the stupidest, deadliest thing you could think of!?” He directed the question more at Tanaka, who was generally the initiator of these stupid plans, but the boy just stared back with wide eyes, pupils shrunk to the size of pin drops, a paler complexion than should be healthy, and a timid shake in his limbs. Noya quickly realised that Tanaka wasn’t going to talk.

“We- We were running late, so we took the quickest option-!”

“What about buses?! A taxi! Anything!!!” The libero made a point of looking away in shame. With a deep sigh, Ukai offered them each a hand up.

“Alright, I can see you’ve learnt your lesson. Go to the clubroom, calm down, get changed, then you can run laps until I state otherwise.” Taking the hand with a split second of hesitation, Noya was pulled to his feet and shook his legs as if he was trying to shake away the quivering. Whatever it was, it seemed to work.

“Yes, Coach!” Tanaka was slower to get up, his legs still in noodle-mode as his gaze drifted back to the fallen motorcycle. This wasn’t a case of _‘I could have died’_ anymore. This was now a case of _‘Saeko is going to murder me with the salvaged metal from that bike. She will END me. I am going to **die.**_ ’ 

“Tanaka, I think you might be going into shock. Take it easy. I’m going to call your sister to pick you up.” His horrified eyes turned back to the coach and a small whisper fell from his lips.

“I’m doomed...” Ukai could only huff out a sound of amusement, too relieved that his students were okay to stay mad at them. That said, he didn’t think Tanaka would survive the sibling aftermath...   
By the time Saeko arrived, Tanaka had already climbed into the roof supports to avoid the vengeance that his sister no doubt had in store.


	10. Soap Opera

Sugawara had recently been on holiday. Over the weekend, his mother had dragged him on one of her business trips, all the way to _London_. With his friendly smile, refreshing disposition, and lightly accented English, he had charmed many of his mothers work colleagues as well as numerous strangers. 

Somehow, his apparent charm had landed him in a situation where he exited a cosmetics store with much more stuff than he had intended. Whilst his purchased amount was exactly as planned, he’d been laden with free samples that the staff had kept pointing out to him, absolutely infatuated with the charming Japanese teenager. It had been trouble, trying to repack his suitcase with all the shopping he had done, the very essence of London crammed inside his two bags. Luckily, they still fit within the weight limits of the airliner. 

The whole flight back, Suga was absolutely buzzing with excitement in his seat, the souvenirs for his team the only thing on his mind. He wondered if Daichi would cry at the snow globe, like he had at the last present Suga brought him. 

He hoped that Asahi found the woollen red scarf with ‘London’ on it, warm and fluffy. 

He’d brought Ennoshita a special video camera that was only released in England, and a matching pair of toy/model soldiers from Hamley’s for Kinoshita and Narita. 

Tanaka would be gifted with a water bottle that was decorated with a Union Jack, and Noya’s gift was an assortment of cheeses. Sugawara found that the mature, tangy taste of British cheese was much stronger than he’d had anywhere else, and he knew Noya would _love_ those sharp flavours. 

He’d been less finicky in what he chose for the first years, knowing that they’d appreciate the gifts alone. A Cadbury selection for Hinata, Thornton’s for Kageyama, an assortment of tea bags for Tsukishima, and a soft teddy designed to look like a Buckingham palace guard for Yamaguchi. 

On top of that, of course, were the copious amounts of free samples he had collected. As soon as the plane landed and they had collected their luggage, Sugawara parted ways from his mother to get a taxi straight to Karasuno whilst his mother headed home. Excited, Suga couldn’t help but fidget in the back seat of the taxi, almost crying out in joy when the school came into view. He thanked the driver and paid, before running over to the gymnasium with his two suitcases in tow. He burst through the entrance with a bright grin, not caring in the slightest that he had just disrupted a five on five match.

“Guess who’s back~?” The stunned silence that followed his dramatic entrance was broken by wholehearted shouting, squealing, and welcoming Suga back, the entire team congregating around him as some of the more enthusiastic members practically threw themselves at him. Sugawara was overjoyed with the reaction, dropping his suitcases down to high-five Noya, ruffle the tiny fuzz of Tanaka’s head, and briefly squeeze Hinata. Tsukishima and Kageyama didn’t escape, each receiving an encouraging slap to their shoulders. Yamaguchi was out of reach, but Suga could hear his vibrant and curious questions over the excited squawking of their ginger teammate. 

Asahi and Daichi seemed almost too polite to join the swarm around him, so Suga pushed through the crowd, marched over to them, and promptly thumped them in the centre of their chests with a refreshing grin. They broke into bright smiles, getting the idea, and brought the silver haired setter into a three way hug.

“Welcome home, Suga~.”

“I- I’m glad you got back safely~...”

“Of course I did! It was only for a week, you worrywarts~!” He pulled away from the friendly embrace with one last squeeze, heading back to his bags with a skip in his step. 

“Now, I hope everybody expected souvenirs~.” Laughing as the group broke out into excitement once more, Sugawara opened the smaller of his suitcases, passing out gifts wrapped in an variety of wrapping papers. Torn wrapping paper went flying, courtesy of Hinata, Noya, and Tanaka. 

“Sugaaaaaa!!! This is so _awesome_!”

“Do you know how long I’ve been craving cheese like this~?!”

“CHOCOLATE~!” The others were more reserved and careful with opening their packages and despite still dropping the wrapping paper to the floor, had preserved it enough that it could be reused. Suga received many quiet thank yous and hugs varying in strength and excitement. He laughed joyfully and reached back into his bag, pulling out identical white paper bags, only sealed with a stapler at the folded over point. They were the free samples from the cosmetics shop, packaged much like a lucky dip.

“Everybody pick one! It’ll be fun to see who gets what, but you can always swap them around~.” That was his excuse anyways, passing out the anonymous white bags, but the truth was that he couldn’t decide how to allot them. There were so many fragrances and textures, familiar to him in many instances, yet strangely different. 

Like these bath bombs, hand soaps, and shower gels, London was a bizarre mix. Sugawara sat back and watched the happy chaos as the bags were opened, his teammates elated over their ‘Pomegranate and raspberry scrub’ or ‘Fizzy angel bath bomb’. Some members had taken his permission to swap, he noticed, witnessing a trade between Ennoshita and Yamaguchi. 

“ _Eurgh!!!_ ” He wasn’t expecting the sound of disgust. But then, looking over to where it had originated, he hadn’t expected Hinata to be holding an open bottle of hand wash in one hand and trying to scrape something off his tongue with the other.

“H-Hinata?! Did you try to _drink_ it?!” He looked at Sugawara with wide, shocked eyes.

“I- I thought you were supposed to?! It had yummy things on the front!”

“Those are the things it smells like, not tastes like! Hinata, _it’s soap_!” Realisation dawned on his face with such comical exaggeration that Sugawara couldn’t help but laugh. He was joined in by Daichi, then Tanaka, Noya, Yamaguchi, and the other second years. Tsukishima watched with mild amusement, more at the fact that Hinata was regretting a stupid action, rather than the action itself. Asahi was currently fretting, trying to get the first year to spit the soap out into a tissue, and Kageyama rushed to the ‘rescue’ with a bottle of water. It wasn’t the wisest idea, as the soap was already foaming in Hinata’s mouth. 

Adding more water, swirling around with momentum, it only frothed up the bubbles even further. By the time it was over, Hinata was sitting on the bench in self-pity and Sugawara was condemned to clearing up the floor where he’d thrown up the soapy mess. It had, after all, been his fault in the end. Still, Suga couldn’t help but be greatly amused.

“Don’t worry, Hinata. Next time I’ll translate the bottles _before_ you try and drink it~.”

“G-Gwah...”


	11. The pun of it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all know Suga is the punmeister.  
> What nobody knows, is that he has a student.

Daichi stood at the edge of the gymnasium with his head in hands. Occasionally, he shook it, fighting back a sob of pure torture. He had no idea how it had come to this. One moment, he’d been instructing the team to start warm up. The next... Buddha only knows. He’d been having a go at Kageyama for zoning out and staring at the clock instead of listening, not knowing that he was setting up the perfect hell for the next few minutes.

_“Kageyama! If you’ll turn this way, I’m trying to give instructions. I don’t understand why you’d glare at the clock like you want to **eat** it. It’s uselessly time consuming.”_

Yes, that had set them all off. It had begun as snickers and then erupted into full on laughter. He had realised his mistake when Sugawara pat him on the back, muttering about how eating and consuming were the same thing. Sawamura Daichi had accidentally made a pun. But that wasn’t what had him standing in the same spot, losing the will to live fifteen minutes later. Of all people, he hadn’t been expecting their _coach_ to start the trend. Ukai had walked in and was just putting his bag down, preparing an apology for his delay when the pun had been made. Snickering, he had taken it a step further.

“Sorry I’m late. A customer dropped a box of Italian pastries on the floor. I _cannoli_ imagine the embarrassment he feels.” Whilst most of the group dispersed into restrained giggles and quiet laughter, Tanaka burst out in uproar. He wheezed a little with tears coming to his eyes as Noya thumped him on the back in support.

“E-earlier, when I was at the station, I had to be careful not to lose my _train_ of thought, or I could go down the wrong _track_!” At first, there was laughter, and then there was competitive glancing. This had turned from a simple, accidental slip up into the premise for an epic battle, a contest of wit and intelligence. There would be no decisive winner, but it was time to conjure up the highest quantity and best quality of puns that they knew. Asahi weakly cleared his throat, wringing his hands together nervously.

“U-Umm... B-before every trigonometry test, I always pray for a _sine_ from above, but it usually means I finish the test with only a _secant_ to spare~...” He nervously chuckled as Suga snorted and hid his face in his arm, pressed against the wall. The second years appeared mildly amused, even though they had only picked up on the first pun. Breaking the awkwardness, Hinata squawked with excitement as something came to mind. He eagerly bounced on the spot.

“Kageyama must be an aggressive learner! Because he always hits the books!” He ducked to avoid the iron-head-grip, posing in a martial arts position.

“You- You wanna fight?!”

“Hinata, dumbass!” The ginger fled with a squeak as Kageyama attempted to lunge at him, obviously not having enjoyed being the butt of the joke.

“I’ll rip your spine out, you useless shit!” To everyone’s surprise, it was Ennoshita who spoke up next.

“That’s okay, Hinata doesn’t need a spine. It’s only holding him back.”

“Oh my god, Enno.”

“That was amazing.”

“You are the LAST person I would expect to join in!” Ennoshita shrugged at the captain, a hint of mischief and also remorse on his smirking lips. He held his hands up in surrender, a silent promise not to make any more puns. Well, not today at least.

“Sorry, captain.” The gymnasium doors slid open once more, the last two of the team stepping in. Tsukishima stared at the chaos with disdain and tutted, moving over to the side to set up his water bottle and towel. Yamaguchi was more inquisitive, tilting his head to the side and scratching the back of his head in a nervous manner.

“Umm... What happened here? Or shouldn’t I ask?”

“You shou-.”

“Puns happened, Yamaguchi~. Why don’t you join in?” Daichi was cut off by Sugawara, and he turned his head to glare lightly at the silver haired setter. Suga grinned back with a fake air of innocence and the captain could only sigh, a small smile on his lips. There was never a moment he could stay mad at Suga for long. He probably would, if he knew exactly what it was Suga was planning... Crossing his arms, he huffed and looked back at their freckled first year.

“Go ahead. You may as well get it over and done with.” Yamaguchi tapped his chin three times, slowly, building anticipation as he thought. Suddenly, his face lit up. All Daichi could think was _‘finally’_ , with a soft smile, _‘finally, this would all be over. Just one last pun.’_ He had no idea that Sugawara had been giving the first-year some training for this specific type of incident.

“Well... I can’t promise I’ll be _Gouda_ it... But I’ve thought very _Caerphilly_ , and _Edam_! I think I’ve got a good one! It’ll _Brie_ long, but once I’m on a _Roule_ , it’ll get _Cheddar_. It’ll have to be _Mild_ because I _Herve_ nothing more _Mature_. Unfortunately, it’s _Goat_ to come to an end sometime, but that’s good news if my puns leave you _Barely Buzzed_. Wow, that could have been _Feta_ , but I’m finished now. Yamaguchi out~.” He made a peace sign before trotting over to Tsukishima as if he hadn’t just dished out the most ridiculously long paragraph of puns that the team had ever heard. Tsukishima’s shoulders shook from where he was, poorly holding back laughter as he ended up making a strange hissing noise that could have also been a sound of great pain. On the contrary, Daichi felt like he physically was in pain. He slumped against the wall and slid down it, burying his face in his hands and restraining a sob. Sugawara gently pat his shoulder, still slightly shocked from the miracle he had witnessed. He had taught his student well. With the team frozen, Yamaguchi looked a little lost holding the volleyball in his hands.

“Is- Is everyone okay?” The majority shook themselves out of it, organising themselves on the court for a scheduled 6 v 6 with Ukai judging. At least, that was how it was supposed to be, but Daichi remained where he was against the wall. Tanaka came over to him and crouched down.

“Y’know, we’re starting now~.”

“Just- Just give me a minute, okay? Fucking puns...”

“If you’re already at your wits end, why not take a break?” Daichi lifted his face from his arms, looking at Tanaka with disbelief. He’d actually said something sensible.

“You know, that might be a good idea. Five minutes can’t hu-.”

“How about taking a trip to France for your break? You’ve got nothing _Toulouse_.” The sound of skin being impacted resonated throughout the gym, and Daichi had to guiltily witness the slap mark on Tanaka’s face from the other side of the net for the rest of practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are lifeblood. ;3
> 
> If you have any prompts, suggestions, or headcanons, please hit me up on Tumblr!  
> (I don't know how to do the link thing, but my username is the same.)


	12. Finders keepers!

Stretching after afternoon practice, Oikawa was in a delighted mood. His fanbase had been paying him extra attention, and one cute girl in particular had tried to approach many times before shyly backing off. She’d always held a note in her hands, and Oikawa was excited at the prospect that it could be a love letter. His vanity led him to treasure every note that waxed poetic about him, kept in a secret folder in his bedroom. Perhaps, this time, he would even date this girl.

“Oi, trashy Oikawa. You have a visitor.” Iwaizumi looked at him from the doorway, his face painted with irritation. Peeking from around him, was the shy girl he had been thinking about. With a light hum, Oikawa swept his fringe back in a way that had even boys swooning, before he sauntered over, pace slowed to add anticipation to the meet. He extended out a hand to her.

“How may I help you, beautiful young lady?” Ignoring the way Iwaizumi scoffed and then went back in to help take down the nets, Oikawa didn’t break eye contact. Her eyes were blue, how lovely.

“U-Umm... This. Please take it...” She held out the note and Oikawa took it with a smug twitch of the lips. Definitely a love letter. He opened it. Oh. Not a love letter.

“Your... Cat went missing?”

“M-Mhm! Please help! You have lots of people you talk to, so... If- If you could please ask them to tell me if they’ve seen anything...” Oikawa stood up a little straighter, his brown locks bobbing slightly at the rapid movement. In the background, Iwaizumi groaned. The expression, that stance, that irritating confidence... Oikawa was about to make a stupid suggestion that dragged the rest of them into it.

“I can do better than that! I’ll look for your cat myself! In fact, the whole team will!” A collective groan came from inside the gym, but Oikawa remained oblivious. This fair maiden needed his help! Her blue eyes sparkled, and she bowed to give thanks before running off. Oikawa watched her short skirt for a moment, before he was promptly smacked round the head.

“Ow! Iwa-chan!”

“Don’t go deciding things for the rest of us, dumbass!” 

“Too late now! I made a promise to a cute girl, Iwa-chan! We can’t just leave her poor pet cat out all alone in the busy streets, especially if it rains!” He made an adorable begging face, shoving the picture of the cat in Iwaizumi’s face. Only the third years truly knew of Iwaizumi’s weakness towards animals in need. He’d rescue birds with injured wings, squirrels with hurt paws, and was constantly finding homes for kittens or puppies he had picked up from cardboard boxes in the street. A lost cat, especially one this small and cute, with a little white stripe painting along its back of black fur, was sure to persuade Iwaizumi to help Oikawa out with winning over the pretty girl. 

“... F-Fine! We’ll look for the dumb cat!” 

“Yay~! Thank you, Iwa-chan~!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. We’d find it faster if we split up. Hanamaki, take Yahaba and Kindaichi to look in the park. Matsukawa, you, Kunimi, and Kyoutani, go and search the areas near freshwater ponds. Watari, you’re with me and Oikawa.” The libero only paused for a moment to sling his bag over his shoulder and stick his shoes back on.

“Where are we going, Iwaizumi-Senpai?”

“Where Oikawa belongs. AKA, the garbage dump.” Light laughter and muffled snickering broke out from the team as Oikawa screeched in protest. Following Iwaizumi’s instructions, the team went off in their groups of three’s. It was wise to do, considering there was someone to go for help if one was injured, and another to stay by their side. Plus, he had listed the first places where a cat could possibly survive alone. It was all picked up from experience.

“Oi, Trash bag, let’s get moving.”

“Stooooop with the names, Iwa-chaaaaaan. You’re so mean.”

“Trashykawa.”

“No!”

“Trashy Oikawa!”

“ _You don’t need to rephrase it!_ ” Watari rolled his eyes as he followed the bickering duo, too used to their gimmicks to really be amused any more. If anything, it was starting to become a hassle. Suddenly, Iwaizumi went quiet, hands on his hips at the entrance of the dump.

“We need to shush. If the cat’s been missing for a while, it may have reverted back to feral instincts and be untrusting.”

“Here, kitty, kitty~!” A fist struck Oikawa over the head and he yelped as he rubbed at it. His best friend only glared at him with terrifying irritation, speaking through gritted teeth like the barrier of calcium was the only thing stopping him from shouting blue murder at Oikawa.

“What. Did I just say?”

“N-not to make noise...”

“Then _listen_ to me for once.”

“But Iwa-chan, I don’t like it here. It’s damp, smelly, and gross.” The ace turned back to the main heap of garbage, nodding nonchalantly. 

“Mhm. That makes it the perfect hiding place for a cat. Remember, it’s black with a white stripe. Don’t confuse it for strays or you’ll end up with a nasty scratch.”

“Got it.” With a small gesture of assurance, Watari walked off to the left side of the heap. He may as well take the safest route before Oikawa claimed it. With a jealous glance at Watari, Oikawa sulked off round the left, already stepping over broken cans and bottles, with other bits of small rubbish. A clatter had him turn around. He gasped with shock, impressed, yet mostly stunned. Iwaizumi was climbing _straight up the mountain_ of rubbish and waste like a professional. 

“... Hey, Iwa-chan, come here often?” He glanced back down at Oikawa, his head tilted very slightly. It was guilty gesture, a sure sign Iwaizumi was about to lie. An unfortunate habit that Oikawa had picked up on very early in their friendship.

“No. Not at all. It’s not like I try and rescue animals all the time.” Clasping his hands in front of his heart, Oikawa sighed.

“So soft-hearted and caring. You’d probably get a girlfriend for once if you showed her this side!” Launched like a rocket, an empty can of fizzy smacked into his cheek. When Oikawa looked up to complain, Iwaizumi was gone from sight. He must have scaled into the centre of the dump. Pursing his lips and shrugging, the setter moved further on, kicking empty or broken things grumpily. He really wasn’t happy to waste his time in a dump. 

He could have enjoyed a stroll in the park, calling for the feline with kissy noises. He would have sat by the freshwater pond and waited for the pet to approach him. Instead, he was stuck with Iwaizumi and Watari in this dangerous pile of unwanted rubbish. Oikawa paused in his steps. Dangerous... From the looks of it, Iwaizumi was well accompanied with this place. 

Watari was small and light, surprisingly agile too. He’d easily be able to avoid a landslide of litter or skip from one pile of debris to the next. Iwaizumi had assigned them here for the safety of the others on the team. His eyes sparkled at the thought of being so important in a particular skill that he had been trusted in such a perilous environment! A particular skill... A skill... What skill?

_”Where Oikawa belongs.”_ He tutted. Of course he knew exactly what Iwaizumi would say if he asked him.

_”Your unwanted ego. Your trashy personality. Your rubbish face.”_

“Such a Neanderthal!!!” Something clattered. Oikawa whipped around, seeing a can of mackerel slowly rolling to a stop from down a small slope. At the top of the incline, there was a flower pot on its side, and the small, cute face of a black animal with a white stripe curled up inside.

“I- I found the cat!” He walked forwards cockily, picking up the flower pot in one hand with the cat still inside. Humming, Oikawa returned to the place Watari and Iwaizumi would meet him if given the signal. Two fingers in his mouth, he gave a sharp whistle. The cat startled from its slumber, lifting its head to look at Oikawa.

“Aww, aren’t you a cutie~?” He held his free hand out, but as soon as it got close, the animal hissed and spat at him.

“Ooh! You’re a brute too, just like Iwa-chan!” The cat shuffled around until it had turned so that its face was in the bottom of the flower pot, poking out the hole out the bottom to breath. It continued to hiss and spit as it lashed its fluffy tail in Oikawa’s face.

“Aww, I bet you’re just shy. It’s okay, kitty, your butt is almost as beautiful as mine~!” The noise of more tumbling junk alerted Oikawa to something approaching. Iwaizumi skilfully slid down the same heap he had climbed on a dustbin lid.

“You found the- OIKAWA PUT THAT DOWN.” He tilted his head in confusion as Watari came jogging over, giving a confident congratulations before he froze in place.

“... Senpai, please put the flower pot down.” 

“Watari, back away slowly. Oikawa, put that creature _down_ and do the same.” Defensively, Oikawa hugged the pot with the cat closer.

“Well, that’s not nice! You dragged me here to this dump, and then when I found the cat, you shout at me and insult the poor kitty! If you’re so jealous that I’m better than finding cats than you, **you** carry the kitty!” Oikawa shoved the flower pot into a pale Iwaizumi’s arms, and after just a second, the cat hissed and raised its long, bushy tail. Droplets of liquid splattered over the unfortunate trio, a burning sensation accompanied with an _atrocious_ smell. Gagging, Iwaizumi dropped the flower pot and the ‘cat’ rapidly scampered off. He grabbed Oikawa’s hair roughly.

“Tooru, you fucking idiot! That was a Mephitis Mephitis! Otherwise known as _A SKUNK_!!!!”

“Oh... Whoopsie~.” When Iwaizumi whacked Oikawa over the head, Watari didn’t hesitate to add his own cuff to Oikawa’s shoulder. Miserable and reeking of putrid skunk fumes, they sulked back to the school gymnasium. Their returned teammates, cat safely secured in a picnic basket in Kunimi’s arms, instantly covered their noses as Watari sullenly led them back. Kyoutani seemed to be the only one brave enough (Or stupid enough) to not lift his shirt over his face, scrunching up his nose in disgust and glaring at them.

“What the hell happened to you morons?”

“Oikawa. Oikawa happened!” Matsukawa and Hanamaki gave a sympathetic glance to the long-suffering vice captain, mentally agreeing that he put up with too much. Far too much.

“It was a cute kitty...” Iwaizumi scowled and poked the back of Oikawa’s good knee, catching him off guard and sending him to the ground.

“It was a skunk. Dumbass.” Yahaba cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.

“Needless to say, the only way I know of to get rid of skunk smell is to... Well... Bathe in tomato juice.” Iwaizumi winced, already thinking about the costs. Tomato juice wasn’t cheap, and they needed enough to _bathe_ in it. He could only come to one conclusion.

“We’ll have to use a public bath. With permission, of course. It’ll use less tomato juice, waste less time, and cost much much less.”

“Iwa-chan, you really are a miser, huh?” A vein ticked and a nerve snapped.

“Not that I care about the finance since Oikawa is going to buy all the juice anyways.”

“Wh- Whaaaaaat!? That’s not fair! Not fair in the slightest! G-guys, support me on this!” Oikawa’s pleading puppy dog eyes turned to his team. The other third years were immune from exposure, and Kyoutani swiftly gruffed out a refusal. He’d always see Iwaizumi as superior over the Captain, no matter what Oikawa did. Yahaba held up his arms in an ‘X’ symbol to show his immediate and definite rejection. Kindaichi almost seemed to back Oikawa up before he noticed the deathly vibes emanating from Iwaizumi. Quickly, he shook his head, followed by Kunimi declaring that he was neutral and wanted to go home already. Comical tears beading in his eyes, Oikawa looked to his last hope, Watari.

“W-Watachin...” The libero stared back dully, his usually warm and friendly eyes as cold as a blizzard in the abandoned Arctic. Oikawa dropped his head in defeat.

“I’ll buy the juice...” A grumbling voice he hadn’t been paying attention to in the background stopped momentarily, before Iwaizumi cleared his throat to address Watari and Oikawa.

“The baths will let us use their smallest tub for an hour only. Luckily, they pitied us enough to do it for free.”

“Oh thank goodness, I was dreading smelling like this forever.”

“Our hour starts in 15 minutes. Oikawa and I will go and fetch the tomato juice, if you’d like to head over and give gratitude from all three of us.” Watari bowed thankfully, breaking off into a sprint towards the bathhouse. 

“Wait for me, I’ll scrub your backs!” Yahaba followed after the libero. He wasn’t going to abandon his best friend just because Oikawa had ended up getting them into a repulsive state. Again. There had been that time with the stagnant pond, the manure piles along a ‘new, fantastic’ running route, and the challenge to eat Swedish Surstromming. Fermented, rotten, Baltic herring hadn’t done any of them good, and as per usual, Iwaizumi had suffered the most under Oikawa’s playful scheme. (If they’d known about the after effects, they wouldn’t have let him participate.)

“Thanks Yahaba! Hey, if Oikawa is gonna be swimming in tomato juice with Iwaizumi and me, who’s going to return the cat?”

“Kyoutani recognised her from the store he shops at. Says it’s the owner’s daughter, and they sometimes talk?”

“... I bet you the girl is gonna ask him out and Oikawa with be pissed.”

“Nah. Oikawa will sulk. And whine, and mope, and cry, and whinge.”

“I almost feel sorry for Iwaizumi. Almost.”

Three days later, Kyoutani came to club with a flower tucked into the chest pocket of his shirt, a lip-gloss print on his cheek, and a smug expression on his face.


End file.
